The Little Girl I Carry: Safety, Fog, and Fifty-Year Funerals

 

I think I have been searching for safety and love my entire life - I had a handful of people like Dad and Grandma Woywod who I felt safe and loved by but I think I am realizing it was in a tornado of trauma and maybe I don't know what it really feels like. Wow, what a realization, huh? And it all came about from unraveling my childhood as best as I could on these pages of the blog and on my Facebook account. It was just easier for me to throw findings and notes on there and keep them organized under topic/person on posts. I am doing all of this from the comfort of my bed and have been. Chronic illness and winter's gift to those who are bestowed both, time -lots of it, long blinks towards clarity - nah, that's an overstep, too many answers are lying in graves dead and buried, the funerals are close in my head, fifty years long. 

It's a lot. It's been a lot. I'm a tired lady carrying a little girl in her that needs love. If that makes sense. All she ever wanted to know was the one question she asked throughout her...our...my..life, Why?

If any of you reading this found yourselves born into intrigue, trauma and mystery and you've spent your entire life walking through a gaslight you're trying to figure out on who controls, you'll get through. It will be tough. There are more us than people are willing to know. 

I don't have hate towards people - disgust towards systems? Hell yeah. 

I don't even hate those men who stole my childhood with their personal touch - I hope the child in them lost can now rest in peace. 

If I hurt anyone along the way on this path of life - I hope they find forgiveness. I honestly do not know, the fog is blurred by the memories etched in. 

Government and those organized against - You Have Collateral Damage littering our Nation. Get better cleaning crews.  And yes, conspiracy theorists, that is a hint. 

I'll still unravel and add more as I find it- but know I am doing this for the next person - they are out there. 

Evening Coffee Thoughts - I still believe Everything Happens for a Reason - ask God. 

Be Well 💜🌹💜🌹💜

#mothermaryhearourtears #ourchildrenarenotforsale