Needless to say as my boys make their plans to have some great adventures I sit with mixed emotions. We've been through so much together. Survived so much, and they are such great human beings I will miss their company as much as I miss their presence.
Originally they were to leave last month but logistics on getting things together in a short period of time on top of the holidays drawing near gave me an additional couple of months with them...for this I am thankful.
I am secure in the knowledge that they will be fine. Both of them have common sense and know right from wrong. Neither of them has ever been in trouble - I've been graced by not having the worries so many parents of teens stay up late at night, having while they bite their nails.
Kyle, my 18 yr old, is off for a career in music and heading to Memphis and the deep south where the Blues called home - yes, you read it right...he's a musician. He needs to go. He needs to be away from rural Wisconsin and be somewhere his music will help him take flight. I support him 100 percent. He is that talented. I know it will just be a matter of time before the world realizes what so many in our little rural community already know - his musical ability is a gift that needs to be heard. Blues oozes from every ounce of that boy.
Lately he's had to make some tough choices - does he continue to stay close to home playing cover songs with other musicians and not always the genre he was born to play? Does he forget about music and try to get a regular 9 to 5? Does he go to college and wander aimlessly in attempting what else to do with his life - or, does he go for the gusto? He picked aiming high and reaching for his dreams. he has courage.
Justin, my 23 yr old, is going with to be there for Kyle. Kyle needs family close by him and until things take off, he will need help with the bills. Justin needs to be somewhere he can live to his full potential as well. Being a member of the LGBT community in small rural town USA is not an easy task. He needs to fly.
How lucky am I as a mother that my sons are best friends? Especially when you consider all that they did grow up experiencing. It would have been so easy, and quite frankly...expected..that they take a wrong turn in life before even hitting adulthood. But, they didn't. Thank you spirit guides for watching out over all of us through this time of transition.
We broke the cycle. It wasn't easy, but we did it.
It will be hard to kiss them farewell. I will worry. Kyle is such a sweet kid, as is Justin. I worry about someone trying to take advantage of Kyle's gifts - it has already happened a couple of times. Then he had me playing Devil's advocate and taking the brunt of confrontation ..something he doesn't like but knows is a necessity. I will have to keep the faith that his courage will keep him safe from vultures and coattail riders. Over the last few months he has gained the confidence needed to see it all through.
As you can probably tell I am writing this all out to help reassure myself that all will be fine. My boys will be okay and so will I. We are entering new chapters in our lives. I must admit it is scary. I am hoping that in a couple of years I will look back on this post and chuckle while reading it.."what was I so nervous about?"
I've written about Kyle's music before so I will not detail all it out again -
I will share my son's latest videos - ones I burst with pride when I watch. You see for the last couple of years he has been known as a great and natural Blues guitarist. However I knew something else about the child - he could sing and write lyrics. When he recently broke free from some restraints he found his voice and his words. Enjoy the following videos..
But, before I leave you - please world...be kind to my children..they've lived through enough sorrow, pain, and tears - it's their turn for joy.
Kyle doing what he does best - Blues guitar -
Kyle finding his voice and words -an original - If you know our story of surviving domestic violence and then the aftermath of rebuilding a life and surviving poverty..then you will know how deeply personal and emotional the following song is to not only him, but me as well. I taped this the night after he wrote it - his emotions were raw as he played it for me.
Lydia - this song is simply beautiful - and is available on his website and iTUNEs
This song is also available on his website and iTUNES - it was literally written on the spot in a recording studio - a one take wonder with Simply JP singing. It was right after recording this song a call from the great Ruby Wilson - Queen of Beale St. - came in...it was where she invited Kyle to play at a benefit in Memphis at BB Kings. That benefit was in July - she died just a week and half later. My son was one of the last guitarists to play on stage with the legend.
This is from earlier this year when Kyle played at BB Kings in Memphis with Miss Ruby Wilson singing. Quite an accomplishment for an 18 yr old young man