We need an Exchange - Can't Sleep Thoughts.

 

It was one of those nights- my system just won't settle. I've had nights like this a lot in my life but at least after 58 yrs of life I understand why better than I ever did, it's part of having a complex disorder that is the sum of all its comorbidities. Dysautonomia is one of them and when it acts up I am hot when I should be cold and vice versa, my insides feel like they are revving up for a race and my swelling around my joints worsen. Winter sets it off, a lot. One shiver too many can send me reeling. 

There are a lot of mes in this country where we are for the most part stuck at home maintaining what we can -when we can. It's a tough existence some days. There really isn't a lot to do. We're kinda a forgotten lot, us midlifers with chronic illness. Too young for programs geared to seniors and well yeah, too old for kid events. And then when you question it you either get a side glance and you hear that "get a job then" comment being spoken in their head or told get a hobby, "knit, crochet, blah blah, "

It's tiresome. 

So, on days like I had today, I try to occupy and use my mind to keep it active and sometimes that means trying to think of ways to create something to fill this need. I'm used to being sick at home. I had a childhood of it and looking at 4 walls (off and on, mostly on). I taught myself then how to be okay with the hand dealt and find things to do but now at 58 yrs old, those things no longer have the pull like they did when I was 10. That's when I used to knit, do needlework and more but in today's world, my hands can't take it. Now I can only imagine what it is like for someone who didn't have training young, and they get hit with illness in their midlife, causing disability. I know if I am having a difficult time experiencing this time around, wow -so, yeah, it's need. 

But how do we, or I should say, a community, try to fill that need? That's the question. A lot of us still have active and working minds, pending pain and meds. Doing a bunch of crafts to pile up,  reminding us of why we're doing them, isn't always the best plan, either. 

We do have online groups- but some days I try to avoid those and only because if that's all you have then it becomes your identity when you are so much more. And, we need out of the house when our health allows for it - it is a need. We need to know there is a community out there and life to experience and not events where you get patted on the head, but actually take part. 

I live rural and cannot drive because of mobility issues - those are additional factors to consider, we do not all live in a town or city. More factors a community interested in filling the need has to consider. 

I keep thinking about The Exchange in Lior's Eyes - a place where you can bring your hobby and interests and just share with whomever is around, kinda like a community center of sorts - drop in center type of thing. Churches have community halls - they could do something like this a couple of times a month, or once a week, whatever - parishioners perhaps could be volunteer rides but not make it a recruitment for the congregation and accept all other faiths and those we no faith.

I am thinking out loud, can you tell? 

People could share recipes or a dish they made for their dietary restrictions and show others how, share tips on where to get the food that costs us more than we have..things like that- you just come and share a part of yourself, be willing to learn something new, and build a community,stronger - The Exchange. No promises, just being. An entire community would benefit. Kids could learn new interests and hobbies - adults too. 

There's a elementary school for sale in my community - I keep seeing it being discussed and all I keep thinking is a building like that could help build a community stronger and wider by offering space - 

I don't know - this is where my mind wanders on nights like tonight.  Winters are tough, especially midwest ones. Healthy people even get cabin fever - 

So, I challenge anyone reading this to look around your community and ask yourself what's there for someone like me -something you would do too. If nothing is there, maybe start asking why, we need your voices.