Thankfully Chewed Up and Spat Back Out!

My very proud German (Prussian) grandfather couldn't stand Poland and Russia - Every Polish person was called a "Polack" He also had a few choice words for Jews and Blacks - but, he was more careful with those slips of his tongue when he was around me. I mainly caught them when he was speaking to my Grandmother in German, he'd forget that I understood more than I spoke.  He would tell you he wasn't a racist AND when around the very people he used those terms about, they'd act like best friends.  It was quite confusing for me as a child taking that all in... In Evanston they lived on Florence Ave, just down from Hook's store. The house they rented for 30 plus years was right off the alley - the house on the other side was owned by a Polish family. They'd talk to one another all the time...friendly conversations, but I'd often also hear him call the man over there a Polack - just not within ear shot of him.  Considering the history of Germany and nam

  Today was supposed to be a special day. We're all feeling a bit cooped up and had planned a picnic out in a park. The kids (young adults) are all laid off and I'm one of those vulnerable people our president and other leaders are willing to sacrifice for the sake of our already failed economy. Being stuck in limbo with all these stressors can get overwhelming. So, yes, we had planned a picnic that never ended up happening.  The weather decided to play some tricks so I awoke with my allergies flaring, which that can be alarming in a Covid surge area. My youngest, Kyle , awoke and came downstairs with swollen eyes, his allergies were flaring, too. The day, itself, has been off and on dreary - all of which made it a prime environment for someone like me to be in pain.  Justin, my eldest, didn't seem too disappointed that he wouldn't be required to rush around to get ready...the plans- just fell apart. I grabbed my heating pad and laptop for the daily brush-up-on -the -n

  I had planned writing about those ridiculous conspiracy theories floating around and being spread by Q-Anon but have since decided I will not give them anymore life and chances to harm the true plight of child sexual assault and child abuse.   Instead of taking an investigative approach to this posting I decided I am going back to the old days of this blog  -when I really didn't know why I started this but I did know I had a life lived I needed to face if I ever truly wanted to get on to the path of healing. My public journal.  Lately I've been feeling like I am existing in a state of shock. All the hurdles I've had to face, all those traumas - my children too, placed me on the path to becoming an advocate. You name the social cause other than racism, and I've probably have had it placed in my path. The one thing I always held on to was- perhaps still is - my belief that everything does happen for a reason. Keeping that in my sight helped me to find the balance from t

I had a beautiful Catholic wedding planned when my ex and I got married. It was to be held at St. Nicholas Church, in Evanston - where my grandparents got married and settled after my Grandma arrived in the US, a few years after Grandpa, who was building a foundation for them to unite and grow their love and family in America. We went through the meetings with the priest and were on our way....then....something happened, I got ill.  One day, when I coughed, a huge bubble popped out of my chest - scared me beyond belief. At the time I had just switched jobs and was without health insurance. I went to the doctor, paying out of pocket, and when he found out I had no  health insurance he told me I needed to get some asap and he would wait to officially diagnose me - I had deep incisional hernias from having my spleen removed just a few years earlier - they were in three spots.  There went the wedding plans - we hurried up and got married, nothing elaborate, all so in two months his insuran

  SEXUAL ASSAULT- DEFINED The term “sexual assault” means any nonconsensual sexual act proscribed by Federal, tribal, or State law, including when the victim lacks capacity to consent. THE UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE FROM RAINN What is sexual assault? The term sexual assault refers to sexual contact or behavior that occurs without explicit consent of the victim. Some forms of sexual assault include: Attempted rape Fondling or unwanted sexual touching Forcing a victim to perform sexual acts, such as oral sex or penetrating the perpetrator’s body Penetration of the victim’s body, also known as rape What is rape? Rape is a form of sexual assault, but not all sexual assault is rape. The term rape is often used as a legal definition to specifically include sexual penetration without consent. For its Uniform Crime Reports, the FBI defines rape as “penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another perso

  No Urgency - that is the one thing I detest when working with or advocating to anything dealing with the government. There is no urgency to fix...rectify...own responsibility ...etc, unless it benefits them.  When I was a special education advocate, I used to get extremely frustrated with the system that took advantage of deadlines by waiting to the last minute or beyond to make decisions or follow through with what the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). Often, and it seemed like if they suspected the parent didn't have the financial resources to battle them, they'd move their chess pieces to a due process through the state board, and then, we were looking at even more time, lengthening the battle.  Those battles were often over simple things such as assistive technology and/or other related services.  The entire time I would stress that a half a year to them meant almost an entire school year for the child. What seemed simple, those needed services, meant th

My fingers are numb after a day of typing away in a tizzy fit because I was one ticked off Mama, today.  Life, like it has been for all of us, has been a roller coaster ride from Hell for the last 6 months. I have a house of young adults who all were laid off in the months of March and April, and all due to Covid. Add to that I am in the demographic of middle aged persons without health insurance AND with medical needs, the kids have been worried about bringing home something that would kill me - the only active and present parent my boys have. I've promised them that I am too stubborn to go before I have a chance to spoil rotten any future grandchildren - and I mean that with every ounce of my being. I didn't fight to get through the hurdles life threw my way to end on a pathetic note, damnit!  Our day started off much like every day for the last 6 months - until that is my youngest went to certify his unemployment. Tennessee is making an active effort to push people off of un