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Showing posts from November, 2015

#WhenIBecameFree - The Heartland Project ; Next Steps

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It is time to take the project beyond state boundaries of Wisconsin and into the rural areas of neighboring states. I can now officially tell the survivors who share their story through the #WhenIBecameFree- The Heartland Project , that I know what it is like to put my face out there. Earlier this week an investigative report by Mike Thompson appeared on New 8 -WKBT LaCrosse, WI. -the subject matter? Victim Rights' during the offender reentry process. A story that highlighted my battle with the Wisconsin Department of Corrections, my project- #WhenIBecameFree , and Kelli's story . The weeks leading up to the story appearing from when I was first interviewed by Mike, were absolutely nerve-racking for me, and, for many reasons. First and foremost I fought the insecurities of fear anticipating what people would say and think about me... my story. Second, I am a woman - one that is just a couple of years away of the big 5-0, I've yet to meet any mature woman who enjoy

Thankful for the day #WhenIBecameFree

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It is Thanksgiving Day. Five years ago I would have not been able to write that out without a tear flowing and dread in my stomach. Over the years I've traveled a path that went from looking forward to the holidays, to hating them - and now I am thankful for them. There was a time when my house was the "go to" for all holiday celebrations. I thrived in the role as hostess. The house would be spotless and the preparations for the meal started five days before anyone used a fork to consume it - Extra tables were needed to accommodate all who came together to celebrate.  If I do say so myself, I was an incredible hostess! Then came the dark days of living in the aftermath of domestic violence and divorce. By then both my parents were deceased and it was just the boys and I. I struggled with the memories of the past holidays mixed with fears for the future. My heart ached for my children that now their holidays memories would just be the three of us, just like

The Wish List - #WhenIBecameFree - The Heartland Project

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Today is my birthday and all I can think about is how much I want this project, #WhenIBecameFree - The Heartland Project to succeed. There are so many stories of survival out there longing to be told. Stories from everyday people doing remarkable things, even if it is waking up every day and moving forward after living a life filled with abuse. Hearing the stories, and seeing the survivors share them gives hope to so many and in ways that is hard to describe. First there is the courage shown when a survivor is willing to share that story on camera in an intimate conversation about their life. Thus far, every survivor I have met through this project has helped me on my own path. Then there is the realization that in the heart and soul of our country, the Heartland, resources are scarce and hurdles of small town/rural life enhance the struggle to succeed when breaking free - it is an isolation like no other but at the same time you can also find how when within a small community

Victim Rights During Offender Re-entry -more updates #WhenIBecameFree

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The fight for it is starting to feel like I am pawn in a game of shell. Welcome to the world of politics. Victim/survivors rights during offender re-entry shouldn't even be a question, it should be a given that the victim is a stakeholder and has a voice that needs to be heard. This is especially true for victims of abuse, whether it is domestic abuse, child abuse or sexual abuse at the hands of a known person in their lives. Crimes perpetrated on someone once trusted to the victim, usually an authority figure, or a  family member or an intimate partner. This past year plus I went out on a limb and made my fight to be heard very public. A decision that was not easy to make, but was needed to keep my abuser from being placed on extended supervision within 6 blocks from my home in the rural community where we have one grocery store, one library, a handful of traffic lights and gas stations. Inevitability there would be contact made - not to mention how close I would be should

Facing Fears #WhenIBecameFree

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Everything Happens for a Reason Including opportunities to face fears. One of my greatest fears seems silly to most, especially since I have written about this fear before , and at a time when I had made some strides in addressing it, but, I have yet to fully conquer it. I am one of those people who cringes when a camera comes out. I get anxious, chatty and sarcastic in an attempt to make light of the fact that inside I am literally fighting the fight or flight reaction when a person feels they are in danger. Bringing attention to myself with the #WhenIBecameFree  -Heartland Project  is making me address that fear - one that has been in me since I was a very young child. A fear that stems from a very negative experience of having lived next to and having been a victim of a predator. Cameras comes out and all I can think of is "frozen in time"  - not sure why the thought runs through my head, but along with it comes the memories of another child in the building I li

Why I Speak Out - A Guest Post By Stephanie March

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Speaking out about your story, the good and the bad, is definitely not for everyone. People are afraid of judgement, being attacked, and losing all sense of privacy. And with good reason. What began as a blog about the mundane and funny aspects of my life soon morphed into something very different as I left an abusive relationship. I began to share what I was going through and what I had experienced in the past. Writing it down was cathartic but sharing it with others that understood was life changing. To receive the kind of feedback I receive is something I never expected but am grateful for with every article I write. It encourages me to share more and helps reduce my own feelings of shame and stigma about issues I’m facing. And as those feelings of shame and stigma began to fade into soft whispers in the background, I kept going. I began to share about other issues that breed in silence beyond the topic of domestic abuse. I began writing for other, larger sites