Static, right now I feel like I am trying to find the ground while walking through foggy static. The last five years of dealing with, more so facing, some health challenges has left me winded. I spent so many years being goal oriented to get through adversity I didn't realize that I skipped the most important part, making sure my health was first on the list. "Get these my kids through childhood without too many more scars and then I can take care of..." "Get through this day and I can sleep tonight.." I focused on the kids, my job, and trying to get services for survivors of trauma in a county where words often fell on deaf ears. I did a lot with very little energy in my reserves. IT was ALL needed, I have no regrets- none - even as I shake off the sting of self neglect -no regrets even as now it is time for another lesson to conquer. A lesson by my own doing, ignoring that voice in me that was about me and for me, not others. I knew I entered the rat race o