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Showing posts from July, 2009

Uppity day for me!

You gotta love music! I always listen to it as I type on my keyboard... Sometimes it's 70's classics...singers and songwriters... Sometimes it's the new alternative stuff.... Other times it's that depressing stuff that allows me to go deep within my soul and pull out emotions I have squashed and denied for too long.... And then there's days like this morning, where I find myself looking for songs with A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E!!!!! Yup...today...this morning...my mood is one where I need some Uppity Blues Women tunes!! So ladies, when you're feeling down...underapprreciated...taken advantage of....remember these songs, and get that smile back on your face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a BLAST!!!! - Kickapoo Country Fair!

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This past Saturday was EXHAUSTING! Exhausting but fun!!!!!!! The morning didn't start off the greatest....a financial nightmare was looming for me - but I still had to go to work, and that meant covering a parade for the paper. While I was working ...taking pictures, my friend, Lisa, and our kids were in the parade promoting the Local Energy Excellence Fair by handing out Popsicles , and leaflets. Lisa had invited me as her guest and go to another fair that evening, the Kickapoo Country Fair . Part of me was fighting going....I wanted to go home - the stress of life was getting to me. But...but....I kicked myself in the butt, and went! AND WHAT A BLAST IT WAS!!!!!!! My youngest...11yr old Kyle...ended up clinging on to me, and went along. I think he was stunned to witness what he did that night. Sure it was great all the information on sustainable energy...the beautiful location we were at....but once the music started - watch out, my son saw a woman he didn't recognize ...mak

Violenced Unsilenced

A while back I shared one of my posts with Violenced Unsilenced . I'll never forget the day in which I did that - I had just come home from a meeting...a meeting where a small group of women had come together and share the most intimate parts of their past and current lives in hopes to overcome the stranglehold of emotional abuse. As I sat on my couch digesting all that I heard that evening...reflecting back on the path I had walked, a segment came on our evening news about a woman who was providing an outlet for victims/survivors of abuse and sexual assault. I watched the clip and felt an instant connection with what she was doing, because giving a voice...respecting the journey of healing...sharing with others...letting go..was exactly the road I was on..and one I am still on. So I sat down at my computer and shared my experience about that meeting I had just come home from - it told my story, and probably the hardest lesson I had to learn - about respecting and loving myself. To

Aug. 22nd - Come Visit Juneau County Wisconsin

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You've seen me blog about it, volunteering to organize the energy fair...well this is it! So - if you're in the area on August 22 nd -then stop on by!!! Since I am the committee chair - I will be the one taking all the complaints, and dealing with all the problems - in other words, you'll find me in the beer tent!

And the result is........

Ok ... I am back from the appointment with the college counselor... There's a 2yr waiting list for the LPN program... But not all is lost... I am now thinking of enrolling under a Business Management Program, which I could start this fall - then take the General Ed classes that are needed for most degrees...which will also allow me time to figure out the direction I want to go in....continue on with Business Management or change direction...either way I get classes and credits under my belt. It's a start, right? So that's what I am going to do - now all I need to do is pass the pre -admission testing - the Compass tests in writing, reading, and math - That test will be Aug 5 th - the only one that leaves me nervous is the math test - pre -algebra, UGH! I will qualify for the Pell grant, and may even for a few more grants and scholarships - so basically a free education - who can pass that up? Considering my situation, they may also waive testing fees and admission costs

Back to school...

It's worth a shot. This afternoon I meet with a college counselor, as I am thinking about going back to school - I am not sure how the hell I am going to juggle all of this...the kids...no child support...p/t writing job...looking for another job..crappy car...house falling down around me...etc..etc..etc. But something has got to work out sooner or later, right? My father always told me that he would never be disappointed in what I did...what the outcome was...as long as I tried, and tried my best to succeed - Well, Daddy, I'm trying. I know that considering my situation I would qualify for grants and scholarships that will basically pay for all the tuition and other fees, so I do have that going for me - and besides, I love to learn - I am thinking about going into nursing - it would satisfy what I love to do- helping people. But then I start thinking about how I am 41 and will most likely be the oldest student in the class - that's when the internal debates starts....but

Update Nevaeh Buchanan - Tragic

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Every morning or so I have a little ritual - at least I have had it for the last month; I do a search for news and updates on the Nevaeh Buchanan case. If you've been reading my blog, then you will know she is the little girl from Monroe, Michigan who turned up missing late in May, and whose little body was discovered a couple of weeks later in a shallow grave along the banks of the Rasin River. The case grabbed my attention because she was also a child who was willingly exposed, by her young mother, to known convicted sex offenders. Just the mere thought of that made my stomach churn, and outraged me - Much like the search for any information on where little Nevaeh was, and what happened to her...the investigation into how she died and who killed her, seems to be exceedingly slow. I understand that the police need to dot their "i's" and cross their "t's" to assure justice is served when the killer is located....but I can't get out of my head that i

Call Me Selfish - It's about time

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(Kyle drying off after swimming) Yes, I haven't been around here lately. Instead of sitting at home allowing all the pressure of life to get to me, I've been spending every free minute...when I can...doing something I truly love to do...something that erases stress, and brings me back down to Earth....it's better than Xanax ; swimming. The central a/c is still not working... I am still hand washing every night since the washer is still broke... That advocacy job is on the back burner.... Although writing for the paper is rewarding...it only adds up to a part-time job... Partial unemployment benefits are running down The car is leaking oil, and the muffler sings in a baritone tone as we rattle and shake in it every time we drive it. Yahoo (my ex in prison) still doesn't want to follow the rules about him not sending mail direct to the house, or to me...it's actually now getting sad... It takes about 2 minutes to re

Trusting my gut - plus more

Geez, I've been kinda quiet this past week, huh? Very unlike me not to have something to say.....a moment to share...or as I am sure you know by now, something to vent about. I guess it is because I've been absorbing life.. .thinking about my future....listening to my instincts...and most importantly trusting my gut. And, DAMN IT, that takes a lot of work for someone who admittedly has issues with trust! Isn't funny, I can trust that stranger on the street who may need help in some way or form..whether it's hand out or a hand up, I have no problem giving it to them if I can. But when it comes to my immediate world, my personal space....my heart, that's where I have sabotaged myself from trusting my own gut, or the actions of a special person in my life. Last week someone said to me the "real crime" in rape...sexual assault...domestic violence..isn't the act itself but rather in the aftermath...the lingering pain of the sense of safety and trust being s