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Showing posts from April, 2018

A PTSD Stumble ...but, that is ok.

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Today I am finding that my nerves feel raw.  Even as I write this, sitting still, inside of me every part of my being is racing - a race in which has no direction, no finish line in sight - anxiety is trying to take over. It has been a very long time since I've felt this way - hyperventilating but barely breathing at the same time.  And it all started with just one domino falling into another. While sleeping last night I was jolted awake by a loud banging sound - extremely loud. Then I noticed the dogs were barking - looking back I do not remember which happened first. I laid in bed, frozen in place, trying to absorb it all - wondering what to do. I cannot remember what my thoughts were, other than I was scared. I am not sure how long it took before I found the courage to get out of bed to investigate, but I did. I followed the sound of my dogs barking and growling, they were in the back part of my house- in a room that I only use to let them out the back door or when I nee

Purging to be free...

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This weekend I am in the process of purging my closets, getting rid of possessions that have not seen the light of day in years. With them going are other items I've had for years but haven't been able to utilize. The process of decluttering my life is freeing. As I write this I am looking at a mountain of clothing on my floor, wondering why I even had those items in the first place. Why do we hold on to possessions that offer nothing to us? The same can be said for people in our lives, why do we hold on to friendships that often only serve to cause us pain and disappointment? Why do we not listen to that inner voice telling us the only reason they are around is to watch and hope you fall? I guess I am the stage in my life where I no longer want to be weighed down by things nor people. I will always hold on to the true friends in my life, but no more to all the rest. As I went through some of my closets something dawned on me. You see, over the last 3 decades I've