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Showing posts from August, 2018

Keep moving on #WhenIBecameFree

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Every day is a new adventure with #WhenIBecameFree . This morning started off early and after only a couple of hours of sleep. At 8 a.m. I met the director of the Juneau County Economic Development Corp at Beyond the Daily Grind for some coffee. Terry was waiting for me when I stumbled through the door after only a couple of hours of sleep. No make-up on, my hair having a really bad day, I still managed to pull myself together enough to explain about the project and my thoughts on how it all tied into economic development within a small community like ours. Thankfully, Terry was already on board in knowing how devastating domestic violence can be to a local economy. Often when we speak about domestic violence and intimate partner violence we concentrate on the victims and abusers, rarely do we look at the domino effect and the negative impact on just about every aspect within a community; schools, churches, and businesses. Every blow will reverberate throughout a community, wheth

Crowdfunding #WhenIBecameFree

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Crowdfunding has been around for a while now but even so, I am finding that some do not understand how it works or why a creative or social project would choose to go that route. I cannot say why others have chosen this route, but I can explain why I did with the #WhenIBecameFree project. So, here we go........... 1) It is an excellent way to promote a project, especially one that focuses on social issues like domestic violence, child abuse, child sexual assault and/or rape. 2) People who decide to support a crowdfunding project are invested in it the moment they donate and I don't mean just being financially invested, I mean emotionally. They want to see the project become a success. It builds a community around the idea and goals of the project - all of which creates awareness. That is the main goal of #WhenIBecameFree 3) Projects are costly - there are real financial considerations for a project to be a success.     A) Marketing - for instance with #WhenIBecameFree I sp

Terrie, Teri, and Tears of Hope #WhenIBecameFree

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Terrie Morris-Hollenbeck - SURVIVOR Every day a surprise is waiting for me. I am learning new things about myself and the people who have entered my life.  When I started the project I thought I would have to travel wide and far to find inspiring stories from survivors, well, I have learned my lesson. Those incredible stories I so wanted to tell are not a day's drive away, they are right here in my own community and the surrounding areas. They are right in front of me in the people I've passed in the store,  said "Hello" to at the gas station, and even standing in front of me in the humans I know and shared other aspects of life with - survivors are everywhere. I met Terrie about 6 years ago when I was facing dealing with the symptoms of having autoimmune disorders. I was determined to do whatever I could to fight the battle against the disorder attacking my body. I was determined to win and never have to deal with a doctor again, at least until old age woul

When I ran out of excuses is #WhenIBecameFree

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His face was red and twisted with rage. I didn't recognize him. His hand was on my throat and the other holding my wrists together over my head. I was pinned. My legs were pinched together as I desperately tried to wiggle out from under him. I was crying...sobbing. I couldn't believe what was happening, how I had loved the man who was now doing this to me. How we had almost two decades together, two beautiful children, and how we were supposed to be the couple that made it, against all odds. It was then he spatted out at me something that has been burned into my memory ever since the words left his mouth: "What? This reminding you of your childhood?" As soon as those words hit my ears I knew there would be no going back. No more excuses would I be able to make for his uncontrollable anger when he was drunk. I could no longer blame it on his rotten childhood and the wounds he carried. I couldn't blame the mistress in our marriage, that bottle of booze. Those wo

Pep Talk #WhenIBecameFree

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Have you ever believed in something so strongly you were willing to lose everything by taking a risk? Putting your heart and all of your soul and time into an idea? Something you know that to do it right, it will take your focus, all of your focus to withstand the self-doubts that you know will try to stop you in your tracks? I do and let me tell you, it is taking everything in me, all those lessons of healing, to see it through. I now know how an artist and musician feels when they too put all of their own self into their work, fighting those self-doubts, those whispers of, "You're going to fail. Fall on your face and be a laughingstock." The true meaning of a starving artist. That is where I am at with this project of mine, #WhenIBecameFree . I am lucky that while doing the work to complete it all, I am already seeing that impact. It has taken off on a life of its own. It was one thing to interview the survivors, that alone was/is an accomplishment for this project

There is light at the end of the tunnel #WhenIBecameFree

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I can remember curling up in a fetus position and be lying as close to the wall next to my bed as I could get. With my back up against that wall, the cold emanating from it was, in an odd way,  comforting. During my teens years I spent many of a day in my bedroom. Although, it was not by actual choice as I was usually there on bed rest after being released from the hospital or battling yet another infection or virus.  Yes, I was a sick child, but even so, I would venture to say if my bedroom isolation wasn't mandated by doctors, I more than likely would have made the choice to hide there from the world. I often refer to my teen years as the Dark Ages. A place I never wish to return to and while there, wished I could just disappear. The pain and confusion in me were that deep. When I wasn't sleeping I would watch television, play with make-up, or get lost in flipping the pages of a magazine or book - anything not to think. The thinking was too painful - too many flashbacks t

Kristie shares her secrets #WhenIBecameFree

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This is a hard one for me. I touched upon Kristie's story a few postings ago, but I held off for a reason on sharing her complete story. I think part of the reason was I needed to absorb and get ready for a shockwave that may hit once it is out there. Plus, she speaks about the dynamics in her family, the relationship she has with her mother, it echoed the one I had with mine. I asked Kristie to give her mom a call and talk about it, letting her know this was coming.  A part of me knew that wouldn't happen because I more than likely wouldn't have made the same call. However, I find myself drawn to Kristie's mom, maybe it is because there are some similarities in our story. I also know her mom due to the nature of my former career working for the paper. I would see her quite a bit when covering stories. We'd share friendly smiles and hellos. The woman I sensed in those moments was warm and inviting. My mom was very much the same way with others. The ironic thing

It is starting to make sense now #KellisHaven #WhenIBecameFree

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Six months ago I thought I was losing my mind. I was extremely unhappy, not feeling fulfilled, angry I was working so many hours with hardly anything to show for it - I wasn't feeling well and haunting my thoughts was the project sitting on the backburner, the #WhenIBecameFree project. It was not where I wanted to be in life, especially after all those years of struggling to survive. I was..am...50 years old, my boys are a 10-hour drive from me - I didn't have the money to visit them when I wanted, I definitely didn't have the vehicle to make the trek and I was exhausted. My days were spent waking up working, going to bed working and all with the pressure of keeping alive a paper with less than a skeleton crew without proper equipment and support. I was quickly heading towards nose-diving off a cliff. The one thing I had was a paycheck. However, it was not that pretty of one, especially considering my title as editor and the decade-plus of working for the company, but