Thankfully Chewed Up and Spat Back Out!

So - we have a self proclaimed - lifetime child rapist/molester who had been in custody of the Wisconsin Department of Corrections let out by a Dane County Judge ( Sarah O'Brien ) because some idiot "expert" witness believes there's only a 20 percent chance he will re-offend? !?!?! WHO WAS THE EXPERT??? It wasn't the Judge! Damn straight it wasn't that witness for the defense! And now, this Westby guy who has been let out and "freed" will most likely be homeless this week..... Merry Christmas Society!!!! The top tier of the Justice system just gave you one HELL of a present - not only do you have to hug and guard your babies closer....but if YOU, yes YOU society, do not provide this self proclaimed pedophile funds for shelter of some sorts....he'll be walking the streets...side by side with you and your kids! Now, isn't that just special?!?!

Exhausted - that's what I am, one tired lady. My brain has had to absorb a lot this week - my emotions have ran the gamut, and I think I am still trying to figure it all out. There was a time in my life when no one would know what was going on inside me - I would never make a move to draw attention my way - Still, at times, I wonder why I even do it now with this blog and all the things I am involved in. Maybe it's because I grew up pretending.....pretending everything was fine..great....and we were the all American family - however deep inside I always wondered if other people had the same kind of thoughts as I did - did their family have the same secrets ours worked so hard at pretending were not there? Things like that - are we all more a like than we are different? My week started off with sitting in on a sentencing of a man being convicted of possession of child pornography- pictures where he actively sought out a victim to attain. A two hour hearing that brought tears

It's been a few weeks since I have written. I am not sure why that is - after all I know there have been plenty of things happening around me where I have thought retelling the story would make for a good post ...but, for some reason I haven't been able to find the focus nor energy (emotional) that it takes for me to sit down and express myself like I usually do. I guess there's just too much happening....too fast....and too much on my mind. I've been overwhelmed. The death of my dog last month took a lot out of me, more than I ever expected. Then we've been so very busy at Lend a Hand , call after call after call ...all on top of a new awareness in the community like never before that we actually do have people living with the fear of homelessness...or are homeless. Donations are coming in, awareness campaigns have happened  -it all feels like it has happened over night even though it has been a long time coming....some of that scares me, and I am not sure why.

My feet are cold. For the first time that I can remember in a very long time, my feet are cold. I realized that this yesterday morning as I sat at my computer sipping my coffee and trying to concentrate on getting my articles in for dead line day... Something was missing...someone was missing...my best friend.... His name was Kodiak - Kody or Cody for short. He was my best friend, always there for me, always watching over me, and always grateful for my presence. He was my pet, my companion and a member of my family.  Monday I had to make a decision that shattered my heart - I took his pain away for the last time and held him as he fell to sleep for the last time. Many animals have come and gone in my 42 years on this Earth.  A Siamese cat named Kelly who I grew up with...we got him when we were both two years old, and he passed on when we were 21 years old. Then there was also a dog named Angel - a face that truly only a mother could love - she was my baby for also

Yes, in six days, on November 5th, I will be without a home...sleeping out under the stars and in the bitter elements a Wisconsin November evening is famous for. I am sure I will be shivering - I am sure that I will be wishing for the warmth of a warm bed and a roof over my head. I am sure I will be counting down the hours...the minutes ...the seconds until daylight and the sun provides a warming light - despite the cold air that will still be felt in my bones. The one thing I know I am most sure of is that I will be thankful and wake with an appreciation like never before that the following evening I will be back in my home, under a quilt, surrounded by my children - and home.  The evening of November 5th I will be without a home for one reason and that reason brought me to tears the first time I met the young lady behind it,  Carley Haschke. Carley is a young woman with an extremely bright future, and one that I feel will benefit society as a whole. She is a student at New Lisbon

  The last month or so I've been pulling my hair - figuratively, of course - but I am literally to the point where I am on the verge of being bald. School is back in session and my youngest comes home with the stories of who is bullying who at school, all while Lend a Hand   has been getting calls for help....shelter...from young adults. Babies still in my opinion who are 18...19....20...years old. Children who have grown up in a tornado of violence, domestic violence.   From the stories of school yard bullying to these children in need of help - all a reminder of just how screwed up we are of a society right now - and just exactly what is the outcome of domestic violence, alcoholism, parents stressed to the limits in this economy - the ones who work so much there's no time to know where their children are to the ones who can't find work or depression/mental illness keeps them in bed with their eyes closed wishing they were someone else...somewhere else.   Those bulli

Have you ever visited a homeless shelter? Seen what it is really like? This past weekend I had just such an opportunity and while out on a date. Not your typical date - that's for sure, but definitely one I will always remember.  Coming from a large urban area to a rural area, I already knew there was a difference in not only the perceptions of homelessness, but I have also learned that the resources for people in need of shelter was miles apart. Here in my county we do not have a shelter - but we do have caring people who have come together - people from all walks of life - beliefs - and experiences who are working tirelessly to help those who want to help themselves in attaining shelter.  With resources being what they are, the group I belong to... Lend a Hand ...can only assist those who actively seek out resources and work on creating their better tomorrows. We invest in those who invest in themselves. In doing so we've had to battle many preconceived judgments on jus

Awareness campaigns, do they really work? I wonder about that as I think back a decade ago or so and remember my own reactions when I heard about some domestic violence awareness campaign...and I remember thinking how sad the statistics were, but also confused on why a woman (or man) would stay in such a violent home. Today, of course, I can see the signs that I was blind to back then, signs of control that I ignored or passed off for one excuse or another. That jealousy he displayed, then I thought was flattering - the way he always made sure an arm was either around me or he was holding my hand if we were in a room filled with people...how even in a crowd he wanted (demanded) my undivided attention ...always...- I thought as one woman once told me when she witnessed it, "He adores you!" As long as I convinced myself of that, all those other signs went by the wayside....even the way he treated my emotions, wants and dreams...they always came a distant second ...behind hi

"Needy" - what a horrible word that is. I view it much like I view the word "burden", a word used by someone who just wants to slam the door on others rather than attempting to understand who might be knocking. Words that are used to judge another without walking in their shoes. Guess I am extra sensitive this week. It's been one of those weeks where the weight of the world has been placed on my shoulders - it doesn't help that I have a cold that seems to want to hang on....in other words..I feel crappy. Anyway, I read that word, "needy", on my local radio station's website and in their Question of the Week - they were asking if area organizations , churches, and agencies were doing enough for the "needy"... Now, to remind you, this would be the very same radio station where last year when I reached out to them to help address the homeless issue in our community, the station owner sent me an email where he told me "we don

Where has it gone? Have you noticed the decline? How more and more people are acting like they are entitled to whatever they want? That they don't have to treat another human being with common respect? I guess I am losing patience with people. That attitude some have that they are entitled to demand upon others or treat others like crap, for whatever the reason- be it their title, their status, their religion, their political affiliation....the behavior is rampant. Politicians and candidates who have no problem demanding your financial support without saying what in the hell they are going to do to honor it. Or the ones that think just because they popped on the scene and declared themselves a members of the same party you need now to show your undying support?!?!?! I'm really getting to the point where I've just about had it with organized political parties - I can be a liberal even if I don't pay my dues. And the there are the some people of faith who believe

Wow, it was one hell of a weekend. If you read my last post then you know that last Friday.....August 13th...was the three year anniversary of a brutal trauma I and my children suffered. And you also know that like in the previous years, no matter how hard I try to forget it, my body and mind still needs to remember it. I thought then it was ironic that it should fall on the superstitious day of Friday the 13th, but little did I know just how hard it would hit me. A series of events happened last Friday which would remind me of how much I have lost, how hard the struggle to survive has been, and how far I still have to go. Bam! Bam! Bam! It felt like I was being punched over and over and over. Needless to say my nerves were already raw and those punches served to remind me just how raw they were. The series of events that took place all in some way stem from the entire reason for the anniversary taking place. I live in Wisconsin, but my bank is in Illinois - the reason for this

I was feeling on edge all week. Something I attributed to the oppressive heat and humidity we've been experiencing - However yesterday I started feeling a bit more shaky and I had an ache in my neck...a knot. I put it off on stress, and all the things I have on my mind lately - then tonight I was sitting here at the computer when all of a sudden some poetry started flowing out of me, flowing fast and furiously...for the second time today. I wondered to myself if I was losing my mind...was I going through some sort mid-life crisis...or was it this damn heat.... I decided to play some games on Facebook and that's when it hit me.... Just one hour ago...a half an hour before midnight....30 minutes before the date changes from August 12th to August 13th...it's been three years....three years ago the man I once loved had his hands wrapped around my throat while he sexually assaulted me and threatened my life. Images flashed before my eyes...like pictures in a photo album.