Recognizing patterns of abuse - they're everywhere

Now, just by reading the title to this posting I am going to place a bet that you are assuming I am talking about the pattern of abuse in an intimate relationship. While those patterns can be found there this post is dedicated to the patterns that are all around us, in our everyday lives - anywhere there is power and control, there is the possibility of it being abused - creating abusers and their victims.

If we do not start recognizing those patterns in other areas of our lives, how then can we expect someone in an intimate relationship to see the pattern slowly sucking them into the cycle to the point they cannot leave before too much harm is done?

Abuse - there are many forms -we know this; physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, and financial.

Whenever there is power and control, there is the possibility of abuse -abusive relationships (or coercive control or controlling behavior) is the way that abusers exert physical, sexual and other forms of abuse to gain and maintain control over a victim.

Now don't fall into the trap of thinking of relationships as just being intimate or familial - this is important in learning and seeing the patterns for what they are and being able to teach children what is and what is not acceptable.

What spurred me to write this post is the tone in our country right now. We've been through one Hell of an election campaign season only now to crash into a political battlefield.  Sitting back watching this unfold I saw the cycle of abuse take center stage throughout the entire ordeal.

Remember that our candidates have teams behind them crafting their messages and getting it out to the public to garner votes. No doubt manipulation tactics are being utilized. This election cycle we've seen some incredibly bad behaviors and manipulations - to the point where just about everything being said had to be researched to the tenth degree.

There has been name calling, lies, and threats. All forms of emotional and verbal abuse. All of which are coming from people in power and who have been seeking the most powerful position in the world.

I find it truly troubling that our children are watching this unfold and growing up where these behaviors are starting to be normalized and ignored. Yes, I hate to say this, we can blame our mainstream media for not standing up to it and for fueling the fodder.

Others have touched on these concerns of mine this election cycle and hopefully more will - the American public is being abused by the system and our politicians.  The cycle is clear.
It starts with the tension building - getting us to take sides - playing on our fears. 
Explosion - once we take sides-we battle it out protecting our votes - our candidates
Honeymoon period -when things get out of control, those who started the cycle try downplay the damage that has been done and pat us on the head. 

It is being played out daily on our television screens and on our social media accounts.  It is damaging.  This doesn't mean we stop using our voices to issue support and or dissent -but we need to be responsible in how we do it or else we get sucked into that cycle. 

Free From Abuse- a blog site wrote about this in a posting called Abuse and Politicians.
In their posting they wrote:
I understand that we need to hold our politicians to a high standard. After all, they are representing the public’s voice. My issue is HOW the candidates so easily sling mud at each other and think that’s perfectly acceptable behavior. It’s almost a game to determine who can find the most dirt on any given candidate. In my book, that’s verbal and emotional abuse. Now, calling this type of behavior for what it actually is (verbal and emotional abuse), it’s as though we are glorifying abusive behaviors between politicians. In other words, we’ve become desensitized to it. When we become desensitized to something, we don’t recognize it for what it is. It then becomes a part of our regular cycle of life where it no longer alarms us.
If we don't start demanding better from the most powerful on how they treat one another and us, the voting public, then how can we respect them? They are supposed to be our leaders - and there are many of them partaking in the rhetoric and abuse of power

We need to teach our children the difference between assertive vs aggressive. 
Using your voice for good vs using your voice to abuse. 

We need to teach them how to recognize the patterns of abuse - all abuse - in all areas of their lives and how to call it what it is. 

Now I wrote about this earlier tonight on my own Facebook account. I posted the picture above with the intent to save it for this posting - in the status I wrote "aka....American Politics" 

I was chastised by one person for doing so - she said I stepped over a line. Maybe I have in that it is a line that needs to be stepped over- recognizing abuse patterns wherever they may enter our lives. 



Kim Torchy said…
THANK YOU! A voice of reason and sanity. I never thought to relate the cycle of power and abuse to politics, but it's true. It's also obviously true in the bully mentality, tactics and words used by our incoming President.

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