"It's not because of who they are....

"....it's because of who I am."

Those were the words of Lois Lawton from the Juneau County Peace Committee when I approached them just a couple of weeks ago and asked that they agree to be an umbrella organization for group...an emergency fund...I was trying to start to help the homeless and those about to be homeless in our county...Juneau County, Wisconsin.

It was when I explained some of the hurdles I had already came across in forming the group, that Lois turned to me and told me...."You tell them this...It's not because of who they are, it's because of who I am," as to the reason I am walking down this path...on this endeavor.

Like women who leave abusive relationships, or victims of sexual assault..for those who are living in poverty...there are stereo-types and stigmas they must deal with in their every day world. Ones that eat away at their own self esteem and dignity they have left.

In venturing down this path to start this group and emergency fund I've run head on into those stereo-types.... "Those people use the system."......."They want everything for free and they don't want to work."......."If they can afford cigarettes and beer then they don't need my help!"....etc...etc...etc...

I will agree there are some out there who have learned how to manipulate the system of help but for every one that is like that, there is someone like me; someone so embarrassed and fighting to keep their dignity that when they do reach out for help it's a last ditch effort to survive.

Would I have realized this 10 years ago?

Probably not, back then I thought I was a happily married stay at home mom whose most trying concern was what I would make for dinner that night or where we would go on vacation that year.....

Life happens......

Things change.....

So do perceptions....

So have I.

Now as a single divorced mom raising two sons without child support living on an income from a part time writing job and partial unemployment....one who is also on the path to healing from a marriage ending in abuse and sexual assault....I see the world through different eyes.

I know what it is like to want to escape an abusive home only to have no where to go.

I know what it is like when a three dollar mistake in my checking account results in over 100 dollars in bank charges for bounced checks....a month or more of bills not being paid because of that one 3 dollar mistake and having to pay 6 weeks of catch up to make up for it.....

I know what it is like to work a full time job plus a part time job spending more than 12 hours away from my children who need their only parent...their mother...and still not be able to make ends meat...

I know what it is like to have to pile on the blankets in late September when the temp at night gets down in the 30's and 40's but I cannot yet even imagine turning on the furnace because I need to save money for when it's "really" cold out.

I know what it is like to tell my son he has to wait a couple of weeks for a new pair of shoes...or why I can't afford to take part in his fund raiser at school....

I know what it is like to plan that once a month trip to my food pantry to help fill our pantry at home....

I know what is like to be part of my community and feel so alone because I don't "look" like someone who would be struggling....after all I work.

So, yes, I know there are many more out there like me who go to bed wondering if and when I will lose the roof over my and my children's heads.....and then what?? Where would we go???

Yes, now I see the world through eyes I didn't have 10 years ago .....

Lois was correct...I am not doing this because of who they are, I am doing this because of who I am.

But really this isn't about me....it's about our community...people....humanity.

Sooooooooo.....

The group is forming.....

We had our first meeting just this past Thursday...

I had no idea how many people would show up to it. I had done some articles for the paper highlighting the need, and about the group forming.....

I spent the day worried that no one would show up or it would be just a handful of my friends...

Imagine my surprise when strangers started filing into the community room at my local library...

Tears came to my eyes....

It was a HALLMARK HALL OF FAME MOMENT!!!

24 people plus my 2 sons making it 26 people came together for that first meeting, and they were from all over my county. AMAZING!!! Please remember this is a small VERY rural county and one ridden with poverty.

Again....yes, once again I was reminded..."Everything does happen for a reason!"

You see....earlier this week I was feeling overwhelmed with my situation yet once again. Winter is coming, and I am scared for the kids and I of what it has in store for us. The thought of yet another harsh winter and struggling yet another year really got to me - but since that meeting on Thursday evening hope is once again in my heart.....hope that shows people do still care about one another....people are willing to come together for strangers..and that together we CAN make a difference....

The Juneau County Peace Committee graciously agreed to be that umbrella organization for us so that we can start an emergency fund to help families and individuals in need....especially for this winter.....

A winter that is fast approaching.....

Yesterday and this morning I created the following video to help in an effort to raise funds....

I believe it's a moving piece and one that will leave you with the sense of just how overwhelming it is for people in such a situation....there's no sugar coating it.

In it is my own fears....my emotions of when things get out of control and a person is caught up in that spiral of chaos and financial nightmares...

I ask you to view it....

And if you are so moved to please make a donation ...

If my blog has ever inspired you, I ask again to please make a donation to our emergency fund...

Please help me in helping my community.....

Donations can be sent to:

Juneau County Peace Committee

203 Milwaukee Street

Mauston, WI. 53948

Indicate that the donation is for the "Homeless Fund"

Thank you!!!