The whispering storm
We all do it - there's not one of us who can claim we don't -
Some of us whisper about the people we know....we like...and some of us whisper about the people we wish we knew....and then some of us whisper about the people we wish would just disappear out of our lives....
But, no matter what is contained in that whisper.....
We do it, all of us.
One of the reasons I started this blog, is because of the storm ...actually the aftermath of a storm in which whispers created. I decided two years ago that not only would I try to regain the control I needed in my own life, but also combat something that invaded my life at the time.....everyone thought they knew - thought they knew all they needed to about me, what happened, and why now I was a single mom raising these boys on my own. They also thought they knew all that happened and led up to my ex husband who now sits in prison for a crime he committed -
And how did they think they knew???
So, in an effort to combat all those whispers from people I knew, and some that i didn't - I exposed my story, and my life here in the posts of this blog -
What I never really spoke about was how learning what was being said in those whispers impacted my life, and more importantly my children's' lives - See, we tend to forget that as adults we are often around our children when we shares those whispers....they hear them....and then they spread their own version - and before you know, there's a storm of whispers.
Living in a small rural community sets the perfect stage for all of this to happen - everyone knows everyone (or they think they do) Part of what makes this community seem so close and quaint to others, can also destroy lives...spirits..all with whispers.
This all is weighing on my mind for a reason. The very reason I have not written in a while. Last month I was on the receiving end of a whisper....a whisper from someone who I barely know, and reportedly told by someone who I don't respect...a whisper that brought back those memories of August 13, 2007 and everything that has happened to the children and I. A whisper that reminded me of the pain of healing and living through a violent act, and how scary each step I have taken, was to take.
It brought back those nights I sat with my children and we had endless hours of discussions...sometimes filled with tears, sharing our feelings and emotions...our grieving together a life that once was, and the birth of an unknown future.
All of that came surging up from within me because of that whisper....and knowing it's trail that led to my ear.
Call me sensitive...call me emotional...
I call it being human.
Ironically, that whisper also contained more tall tales, but this time about someone I know and I am close with. Rumors that could destroy a family if told to the wrong ear.
A week later I heard that same whisper, but this time it came from someone else I know ....and they heard it from another party...someone else I know.
It took the wind out of me on how devastatingly fast whispers spread in this community - from end to the other. And then something else dawned on me, every person sharing those whispers....were males, and they were all about females. They came out of the mouths of professional males and each and every one was about a strong female in the community.
Abuse of power and control.....shared via whispers.
So the next time you hear a whisper.....consider the source, and then ask..."WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WHISPERING??"
Make sure that if you find yourself whispering....you take a pause, and ask yourself the same question...