Thankful for the day #WhenIBecameFree

It is Thanksgiving Day. Five years ago I would have not been able to write that out without a tear flowing and dread in my stomach. Over the years I've traveled a path that went from looking forward to the holidays, to hating them - and now I am thankful for them.

There was a time when my house was the "go to" for all holiday celebrations. I thrived in the role as

hostess. The house would be spotless and the preparations for the meal started five days before anyone used a fork to consume it - Extra tables were needed to accommodate all who came together to celebrate. 

If I do say so myself, I was an incredible hostess!

Then came the dark days of living in the aftermath of domestic violence and divorce. By then both my parents were deceased and it was just the boys and I. I struggled with the memories of the past holidays mixed with fears for the future. My heart ached for my children that now their holidays memories would just be the three of us, just like any other day of the year. 

Yes, those were some very dark days in my path towards healing. 

I am thankful those days are in the past. 

Today, my house may not be spotless as I am no longer a stay at home housewife, however, it is a house filled with love, and my boys are still here by my side. 

I am thankful for knowing those once dark days of dread, because now I can appreciate the joy in the simple fact my gloomy past no longer dictates my moods of the present. For survivors going through the pain of healing, I wish I could tell you how to flip that switch in finding serenity. For all of us, while we may walk similar paths, our healing is unique as each of us are. What I can tell you is that if you keep moving forward towards loving yourself, the day will inevitably come where, like me, you will find comfort in the holiday season - you will be free to live life rather than allowing life to live you. 

As for our Thanksgiving this year, I am the host once again. At my table will be my sons, Justin and Kyle. Gabe, Kyle's best friend, is joining us. The four of us will dine on a dinner made for an army. My dogs will be happy campers for all the leftovers that will be finding their way to them. 

I actually turned down an offer or two to join some friends and their families for Thanksgiving. This year I decided to be a bit selfish as I wanted to be that thankful hostess - my boys are getting older and my baby graduates from high school this school year. Kyle is a very talented musician who has opportunities ahead of him, who knows where he will be next year at this time. I wanted today, his last childhood memory of home and family for Thanksgiving, created at my at dinner table. 

So, with that - I must make that last run to the grocery store as we all do because of something that was forgotten. Then time to enjoy a very special #WhenIBecameFree Thanksgiving.!!

This time I will end my posting with a video taped last night. Kyle and musical partner Bree Morgan were in my living room yesterday evening practicing Christmas Songs for an upcoming show this Saturday for our historical society at their annual open house. Gabe joined in  - 

Last night Kyle Roberts and Brianna Schroeder practiced Christmas Songs for this weekend's Holiday Open House at the Boorman House (Saturday from 5 -7) - Gabriel Boots Brown joined in!
Posted by Eva Marie Woywod on Thursday, November 26, 2015

Enjoy!