Thankfully Chewed Up and Spat Back Out!

Earlier today I had the honor of meeting a former victim of child emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Kelli is an amazing person and has survived a childhood being ripped away from her. Rather than me explaining her story, I think it is best if you view it for yourself. Please know that the man who committed the atrocities against her was only charged with incest and child sexual assault. Remember this as you listen, and then realize when initially charged in 2001 he was allowed out on a $5,000 signature bond which then allowed him to intimidate and continue on abuse. Ultimately he was also charged with bail jumping and intimidating a witness in addition to the sexual assault and incest charges. Also know that Kelli is now happily living with her girlfriend and raising a son. The children that were the result of the incest are deeply loved by Kelli, unfortunately she lost parental rights due to living in the aftermath of abuse. She fought to keep them, and does receive updates o

We all need them - And, at times, we all seek them out whether or not we want to admit it or not. And in those times our actions can be self destructive. This is especially true for anyone who has grown up in an abusive situation and household. It doesn't matter what form of abuse they may have suffered or witnessed as a child -if there was any abuse, that child will walk a path of seeking out love and validation - when that void cannot be filled they will either turn to self abuse by way of addiction or risky behaviors, or they will turn into people pleasers - at any cost. The path I took was as a people pleaser- a family/friend caretaker. In my head I thought the more I did or be what I thought people expected of me, I would find what I needed most. In my case it was nurturing I lacked from my mother. She wasn't evil, just had a guard up at all times, and most likely because at some point in her life she had been emotionally devastated. That guard kept nurturing at an

I find myself wondering where the road of life will take me next. There was a time that rather than wondering, I worried if I would make the right choices. It was a worry that would keep me frozen in place - a place that was not for me as I was only existing, not living. I've grown quite bit in the last decade of my life, and I anticipate that my growth will continue as long as I hold true to the one lesson that was hardest for me to learn and accept - I deserve to be treated with the same honesty and respect I give to others - if not, walk away. I started that lesson the day I started this blog and telling my story - owning it for all the bad and good it contained - the mistakes, the dreams, and the fears that had built up within me after many decades of silence and ill-treatment, from others and then also myself onto myself. This blog started out of the whispers of others talking about what they thought was my story and retelling it as if they were present for it. There w