Thankfully Chewed Up and Spat Back Out!

Finally! The experts are finally realizing what survivors have known for generations. Childhood trauma , especially early childhood trauma ( up to age 6) has a direct impact on future life experiences, especially if that trauma is not dealt with and kept locked away never to be spoken about because the shame and stigma, for the victim, is too much to handle. BIG THINKERS ON MENTAL HEALTH: How Childhood Trauma Can Make You A Sick Adult from mental health channel on Vimeo . Is it the victim's fault that society is ignorant to the cause and effect? No, but the victim does get revictimized by it throughout life - a vicious cycle. The only way to stop that cycle is to talk about trauma. Survivors need to share their experiences - their stories - their struggles - their triumphs. Child sexual assault Child abuse Child neglect Emotional abuse in childhood Growing up in an alcoholic environment Growing up in an environment where there is other drug dependencies Growi

by Alexis D. Have you ever been in a moment where everything is at a standstill? Everything is happening, but in slow motion? The scene is heated and their body language is aggressive. You’re not sure how to handle it, so you bite back?  That’s how it is the first time.  The aggressive body language becomes aggressive actions instead. The next morning it is as if nothing happened, they apologized, saying they couldn’t control their “anger.” You accept it, being the first time it happened, you think nothing of it. A week later the cycle begins again. They apologize and you forgive them, claiming “it’s fine” or even “it won’t happen again.”  Over time people will generally accept the hurt and think it’s normal because they love them. But, it never changes. Well at least not until you make the first step. Whatever your first step may be, from realizing that things need to change, or standing up for yourself again, you made a change. No, I’m not saying that everything

Earlier this week I was minding my own business and cooking dinner when the evening news began. As usual, I kept it on because I like to be informed despite the array of terrible that we call the news. It was mostly background noise until a story began about a Judge in Florida that berated and bullied a victim of domestic violence before sending the re-victimized woman to jail for failure to testify. I froze in a combination of horror, anger, and sadness as the heartbreaking video footage played. Video courtesy of New York Daily News The victim had been allegedly choked and threatened with a knife by her husband. On July 22 when she was supposed to testify against her husband she decided not to show up in court. According to this article by The Daily Beast she told a court advocate that she was afraid, dealing with anxiety, and the last time her husband went to jail “he lost his job and couldn’t pay child support”.   Tearfully this battered woman told

To forgive is not to excuse,  It is not a free pass to condone, Nor does it pardon the offender.  To forgive is an act of self love,  And paves your next step towards growth, It is sacred and should be used wisely.  It doesn't mean those who offend should enter your life again,  It doesn't mean those boundaries you've worked at setting should be ignored It means you understand that carrying vengeance is harmful to your soul.   Victims tend to not truly understand the meaning of forgiveness. Often they forgive and then allow those who abuse them right back into their lives, creating the very same drama that caused harm. Boundaries had not been set, or if they had been, they are willingly put aside.  You know you are on the road to being a survivor when you understand you can forgive the offender although taking care of your own needs come first - boundaries remain intact, and if anything become stronger.  I have forgiven many, but also

A Guest Post By Stephanie March October is National Domestic Violence Awareness month. I would argue that every month needs to be an awareness month until this is no longer an epidemic in our country, but I am thankful for the extra attention October brings to the 12 million people affected each year . My hope has always been for awareness to unite the public in demanding that better laws are passed to protect the victims and survivors as well as harsher sentencing for the offenders. There is an absolute possibility that the public can help reshape the justice system. In the past, public policy has led to reformation in the justice system for several crimes. We should expect no less when we talk about domestic violence law reform. There are currently some bills circulating this year that would help in domestic violence law reform. One is Candace’s Law , introduced by Texas Representative Sheila Jackson Lee, which calls for enhanced sentencing for offenders t