If I make it through all of this...

I will breathe.

I will sleep..

And then, I will tackle some dreams.

Yes, when I make it through all of this, that is my plan.

But first, I need to get things done and it feels like a mountain to climb. To all of you with good health, appreciate it - do not take it for granted.

While I was never a "healthy" person there was a time I was non-stop movement - Super Woman. That time was not too long ago. I was able to work, raise the boys, keep up with cleaning and cooking while also answering calls 6 days a week, helping the low-income and the homeless with crisis help. I was unstoppable.

When I look back to those days I am not sure how I did do it all. My boys supported all my efforts and were right there in the thick with me. We had days where I'd get a call and 20 minutes later we were loading up a family being evicted...sometimes in the middle of winter. I can remember one time driving through the streets of my town during a snow storm with no room in the van to move a muscle and praying that the mattresses secured on top would not fly away.

I do miss those days and I guess I shouldn't complain that the boys are adventurous with life, able to adapt to new experiences and tackle the unknown. With Lend a Hand and Circle of Hope, that is how they grew up. We never knew what situation would pop up at any given time and each of those situations would remind us, that while we did not have a lot, we had everything we needed to live.

Getting this house ready to be sold, even as a fixer-upper, is draining me. Of course, this week, the weather is not helping - excessive heat and humidity has unleashed the autoimmune disorder beast. Slowly, I am getting there.

Considering most of what I need to tackle are things my children left for me when they went on their adventure to Memphis, I figure I have about 10 years of Mom guilt lectures ready and waiting in the sarcasm vault. Anyone reading this make sure to follow my youngest, Kyle, on Facebook - support him...share his music....because he owes me a long lingering vacation by the ocean with pina coladas always within reach.

How one young life of just 19 years old could acquire so much crap is beyond me. I just do not understand where it all came from. We didn't have the money to purchase all these items that are in abundance. It leaves me scratching my head because when he moved down to Memphis, he took a lot with him. However, still in my house, there are two sets of drums, two pianos, various guitars, amps, speakers and God knows what else...those are all thrown into the mix of his past failed inventions. Inventions where he tore apart old computers and other electronics to make something....what, I am not sure, but I have the remnants in this house.

No wonder they say moving/selling a house is one of the most stressful times in someone's life. Doing it all on my own, well, yeah - I am stressed.

But, I will make it through all of this and probably will vent my frustrations out on this blog as I maneuver through this chapter of my life.

"Nobody loves me but my Mama" - Kyle performing this song rattles in my mind as I clean out the remnants in his room, my garage and elsewhere... ;)

History Shrouded in Mold - Part 1

Sipping my morning coffee I sit on my bed looking out almost century old windows and into the backyards of my neighbors. This morning was no different. The sky is grey and there is a slight chill in the air, reminding me that outside that glass is another world filled with life and adventure, stories to tell and lessons to be learned...knowledge to be gained. In other words, hope. That sentiment brings back the emotions I felt as a little girl. Then, I sat on my bed looking out the massive Victorian era windows of the 3rd floor apartment we called home. It was in the mid 70s -Evanston, Illinois. I loved being able to see into the green of the trees that lined our street. Between the leaves and branches was another world playing out before my eyes. The birds, the squirrels and sometimes even a stray cat - they lived out a day in their life without ever knowing they had an audience taking in their story. I would spend a lot of time watching them and getting to know their personalit

A Pay it Forward Christmas...

The Christmas Clues came all month long.....a month filled with constant motion ..chaos...stress...and deep inside me the usual holiday dread. Those clues helped to divert my attention away from the emptiness that has been in me for the last few years.... Those memories of a large family coming together where I was the hostess for all the holiday feasts....the memories that usually remind me of the last few years and how much the boys and I have lost when domestic violence entered our home...and what destruction it left in it's wake. Yes, the clues had me looking forward to time that in the last three years or so I would wish I could close my eyes around mid-November and wake up on Jan 1st - yes, me...the one time overly merry hostess had turned bitter towards the holidays. This is the first year in a very long time that I have actually looked forward to Christmas.... That Secret Santa...and those elves....must have known that I was dreading another Christmas...another holiday in

Propane - Shame on you Inergy!

I know this isn't a typical post for me, but I guess with me not much is typical. The last couple of weeks I've been spending a lot of time researching and learning about propane. Propane is something I never really thought about before because I never really used it - except, maybe, once in a great while for the gas grill rusting in my backyard. However, as I said, it's now a topic I have been spending my nights researching on the Net. The reason for this is because of a phone call I received a couple of weeks ago - the person on the other end of the phone told me that a company here in my area was about to charge $3.14 a gallon for propane, while all the others were running around $1.80 for a gallon. They explained that many people don't realize what was happening, and just how wrong they thought it all was. That call came in on a Tuesday morning, the week between Christmas and New Year's....a typically very slow news week, and one where at the paper (The Mes

Thankfully Chewed Up and Spat Back Out!

Search This Blog