Making time during life's marathon

It is like running at full speed up against 100mph winds -
You can feel the ache in the muscles, but you push on -
As hard and as fast as you can -
Teeth gritting, you know the finish line is somewhere - just keep pushing -
'Nothing has stopped you- and- there will be no situation that ever will'...your mantra as you inch forward.
One foot in front of the other...just a little more...
So, there you are, it was a long race but the finish line is in sight - you push one last time....
And before you know it, you have pushed yourself over a cliff, sending your body crashing to the ground.

The adrenaline rush is over. You no longer feel rigid and stiff. The wind is no longer pushing against your forward movements. You can breathe!

That is when you realize your joints have loosened from the impact of that crash,  loosened to the point you feel like a rag doll and now you must find the energy to lift them, get them moving again, like they should. Now you must summon up some of that adrenaline again, knowing if you go too far, the next time you fall you may not be able to move.

 Through all of this no one will know what you're going through  -they can't see it. Your outward appearance is still the same.  You might look a little more tired, perhaps move with more caution, but all in all, you will still look the same to them.

And that is life with an autoimmune disorder, especially when you work and attempt to carry on like you once did.

I write this on a day I've often considered like a weekend day for myself, a Wednesday. The day after deadline day at the paper. My Mondays and Tuesdays are much like those last moments of the race. Long hours, stressors everywhere, and that much-needed adrenaline to push through until the end...sending the final product to press, on time. Wednesdays are my crash days. I try to catch up on emails, messages and anything else that was put to the side on Monday or Tuesday. I need to do this on Wednesdays so that Thursday morning the race can begin again.

Some weeks, running both those races at the same time, can leave me winded come Wednesday. 

This weekend I think I need to take some time just to have some fun. It has been a long while since I've done that....and, it is time.

Right now I am running those two races, autoimmune and deadlines, with another one on the side. Getting this house ready for market.  I am asking too much of myself - so, yes, this weekend it is time to have some fun. It is about time I practice what I preach.

How about you? Do you make time for yourself? If you do, what do you do during that time?


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