Thankfully Chewed Up and Spat Back Out!

I was sitting here this evening, exhausted from a long two days of writing for deadline day at my job...stressed about some personal things ...it was just a half an hour ago and I was attempting to zone out to an episode of Hell's Kitchen on Hulu.... and that's when it happened - an email appeared in my inbox to my email account connected to this blog.  When I opened it up I found a poem sent to me by a stranger - someone unknown to me. However, even though her name and email address were not familiar to me, the emotion in her poem was. It is a piece that speaks to something just about any survivor of physical or sexual abuse will know...it doesn't matter if the abuse happened as a child or as an adult - if your body and soul suffered a trauma you survived from, you will understand it. These were the words that greeted me in that email.... Red on White I look down at her This woman that I used to know I know what happened I was once there, inside her Yet I can'

For years I've known I am half-ass backwards. When other people complained about cloudy, rainy and cool days - I would be at my best - those are the days I come alive. Sunny days, no matter when they happen...which season, have always given me a little headache. I've mentioned this before, I was born with this whacked out immune system - signs of it started when I was just 2 weeks old and stopped breathing from breast milk and formula. My mother reminded me of this throughout my childhood when she would find a reason to inform how expensive of a baby I was, 'Do you have any idea what soy milk cost back then?" My entire life doctors have tried to put a diagnosis to my symptoms and tests results, but could never find one to match...hence my reasoning for hating doctor visits and now why I avoid them...they're intrigued by my medical history...and I despise being a test rabbit.  I spent a childhood being told they were convinced I had leukemia but the bone marro

I hate terms like "sweating my ass off" ...because they are nothing but lies, pure and simple...LIES! I say that because it irks me like no tomorrow that the gallons of sweat dripping off my body in this latest heat wave to hit Wisconsin is not shrinking my ever lovin' ample butt ...it is however making me irritable like no tomorrow (can you tell?) As I write this in the early evening the temperature outside is : 92   F   Feels Like:  114 You know the cavemen were pretty damn smart and to think we've "evolved" since then is a joke.  Their shelter, a cave...provided a constant and comfortable climate all year round. They didn't have to pay heaps of money they didn't have to an electrical company to stay cool...nor to a fuel company to stay warm -  I think I now truly understand why the last 5 years or so I've been saying how one day I am going to find a cave to live in...it wasn't a statement out of dealing with stress - it must h

Lately if you've been around me you probably wouldn't guess that I am truly one of those girly type women when it comes to make-up, perfume, bubble baths...and all those little things that can make being a woman a little extra special.  I've been so damn busy, stressed and quite frankly haven't had the extra cash to take advantage of the things I use to take for granted. That's probably the reason that earlier this week I jumped on an opportunity when I saw one on my Facebook home page. A friend shared a link to a page and asked people to like it - Laced Beauty  - the name caught my attention so I decided to check it out -and that's when I saw a post kicking off a new brand of mineral make-up and a limited offer to attain some free samples....Needless to say - I jumped on that puppy! Soon I began to learn that it is a small female owned start up company here in Wisconsin - learning that intrigued me some more.     I emailed the owner, Melissa Hamilton, tol

Today, for the first time in a very long time I actually felt like my voice was heard - and not just my personal voice but the voice of a once former victim - was actually heard and made a difference.  It came, like most things of importance and significance, in the nick of time. For the past week or so I've been catching some flack from a couple of people for being so open about my situation - my history - and allowing my name to be out there - out here on the net - with all that "dirty laundry" connected to it. "People are going to judge you...,make fun of you....think you're looking for the 'wrong' type of attention....you'll get trolled (aka bored idiots will internet stalk you) ...blah blah blah...etc....blah" But rather than listen to the naysayers....even though I must admit it was starting to bite at me....I listened to my gut telling me I am doing the right thing - that keeping my mouth shut ads to the stigma of child sexual assa

William Currier  Bill and Lorraine Currier  of Essex Junction, Vermont have now been missing for over a month. Within that month there has been little movement - at least that we the public can see.  There's been a battle between the press and law enforcement over the search warrants - the press wanted to see the information in the warrants - and the law refused saying it hamper the investigation. Currently the courts ruled to temporarily seal those records....which supposedly speak to computer records and emails. And that's it - that's the only movement that we, the public, know of in this case. Now I could understand that in the first week or two the need for the silence - but this long? Something is really odd about this one. Lorraine Currier  Just prior to the couple coming up missing Lorraine supposedly informed a friend that some male was stalking her - no name given and really not much else discussed other than she was fearful. It's been reported th

I take full and one hundred percent credit! I awoke this morning feeling like pure dog crap. Not that I have a clue what that feels like...but ya know. Let me backtrack - all this past holiday weekend I felt something coming on - I am use to allergies at this time of year so I usually just "deal" and live on OTC generic (the cheap stuff) sinus pressure medicine. It's been my way of life now for...hmmm..2 decades at least. This past weekend was no different - couple that with the heat and humidity - I was downing those babies (sinus meds) like candy...except they didn't seem to work - they didn't have any affect on the scratchy throat that started on Saturday evening nor that twinge I was feeling in my ear last night  - so I did what I do best, I ignored it. I have this ability to ignore pain and discomfort - it's a gift leftover from a childhood spent in hospitals and undergoing many tests and procedures as well as surgeries. However, with that little

Sometimes a hobby of mine, the way I zone out, takes me down some odd paths. Two posts ago I wrote about Lorraine and William Currier - the couple from Essex, Vermont, who mysterious disappeared three weeks ago - The circumstances around their disappearance and the tight lips of investigators protecting every detail is what caught my attention to write about it. A comment on that post alerted me to another story about missing persons - this time however out west, and the possibility that it was a serial killer on the loose.  Well this evening I found myself searching out information on that story.  I don't know why I do these things - I just do...guess I like mysteries. I found the article on the above mentioned cases on the Coast to Coast radio show website - and it pulled me in.  Sadly, in April an older gentleman by the name of Patrick Carnes came up missing as he was driving through Nevada on interstate 80.  His companion on this trip was his dog Lucky. Authorities are le