Grieving is for the living- not the dead

For Beau and James —a couple of my heartbeats.

Grieving is for the living, not the dead. This thought is playing over and over in my head and has been since listening to a voicemail message last night — one that told me my nephew, Beau, had passed away from renal cancer.

The news was like a giant slash to my heart, and I wailed sobs of grief as the message played.

It was the release of grief that had been building since news of his cancer hit my heart. It was the release of generational trauma that bonded us and played out in our family. My nephew was only 9 years younger than me. It was the pain knowing what all has played out and how it ended, here on Earth.

Together all those aches were released with a wail so loud it disturbed my own ears. It was needed.

I know he is okay and probably experiencing a peace to his soul that he never knew living. I am sure my parents welcomed and comforted him in his passing, waiting for him with open arms. And there’s not a doubt in my mind that he ran to them, especially my father and his loving energy.

Grieving is for the living — it is how we express our regrets, our love, and even our hopes to do better in the future.

I awoke this morning not feeling the heaviness of death but rather the ache of memories as well as with a feeling deep within I will be okay. This is the cycle. This is why when living we do everything we can to find, to feel, and to protect Love.

I’ve experienced enough deaths of loved ones to know there will be waves of grief hitting for as long as I walk my healing journey — the rest of my life. My goal to make it over those cracks is to remember when it does hit, those are my memories and feelings just needing to be remembered, honored for all they brought to my life — the bad leading to some good.

I’ll be okay

Beau is better than okay.

Rest in Peace

Be Well.

I’m adding something new — if you’d like to help encourage me with a tip for some coffee you can here.

And please pay attention to …..

HEALING HEARTS

https://www.gofundme.com/f/inject-healing-hearts-into-communities

Healing Hearts.

I might be placing my vulnerabilities out there for the world to laugh at and me to be picked apart but we keep getting this wrong, why not try?

At least I want to try to place a bandaid on my branch of the family tree, I am tired of the destruction.

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