Death is not the end, nor are goodbyes

an outloud journal post

Earlier this evening I said a farewell to someone very special to me. In a way it was also myself letting go of fear. A fear of letting go. Holding on to regret I should have never owned.

I faced a milestone in my life and theirs not knowing how it would turn out or if I was doing the the right thing, but I did know my heart needed it and so did they. No one else mattered. No regret in the end, if anything it was meant to happen.

I grew up tonight and so did they.

Tomorrow when I wake up I will recognize the woman in the mirror — she’s the one a little girl once dreamt about becoming, someone who loves life and appreciates those she loves as much as her own reflection.

She’s lived life embracing challenge..

She’s loved the unloved, including herself..

She’s mothered the motherless, including herself..

She’s groped her way through the dark and squinted at the light

But she’s never lost sight with moving forward…

No matter how hard the path may have been..

She’s suffered great loss..

She’s made wrong moves…

Celebrated small gains…

She’s been judged…

She’s been ignored..

But she will always make sure she’s heard..