I woke up this morning thinking about all the mixed messages there are in life and how, if you let them, they will weigh you down and the person you are will be buried underneath the destruction from their weight.
I grew up with a constant avalanche of mixed messages. Certain ones stick out more and they must be the ones that at the time I realized were defining.
“You’re a beautiful young woman, don’t let others tell you different.”
I would be told that only then to hear her rip apart another woman for the way they looked or dressed, “Look at her, how can she go out in public like that….?” “She’s too fat to wear that.” “You’re beautiful, if only you would……?”
Top it off with knowing how lies came easily out of her mouth, as a young girl dealing with so much trying to hold on to a sense of worth, I was often left in a tizzy trying to figure out if I was good enough or did she tell me one thing, only to say the opposite to someone else?
Growing up was a guessing game that my heart suffered because it didn’t understand the rules of dysfunction and narcissist abuse.
It left me paranoid of what others thought of me and propelled my decisions in life that drove me to familiar arms and mixed messages of love.
Five and half decades of life has been trying to decipher mixed messages so what is left of my heart doesn’t die and I turn into a parrot of confusion.
It has been a hard fought battle because we live in a world of those mixed messages. We can’t get away from them, they are everywhere. Just look at marketing — they are always telling women how be more beautiful, how to be accepted by society. “Look thinner…” Was one opening I saw recently in an ad on social media. They are doing exactly what my mother did, it is a form of mind control and brainwashing that will have you come back for more.
It is not only in advertising for material items, it is in our politics, everywhere, both sides. So much so my brain hurts watching it play out — my heart screams “Wake Up” as much as I can because I don’t want others to know the pain I know. The pain of having so many mixed messages and games played with your mind that you lose touch with the reason we are here on this Earth — to love and nurture each other and our home.
I’ve always accepted the label as a bleeding heart liberal. It doesn’t embarrass me. I’d rather bleed from my heart than dish out ice cubes. The problem is this group of people who claim the same but then feed the divide in this country with deceit, corruption and greed.
How can you/they take money from a corporation making bank off of the vulnerable in our society on Medicaid? Recycling taxpayers monies taken out of checks for their labor, representating time away from family? Only to also have that money represent the corruption out there, the division, the fact that those vulnerable patients are the ones who get denied treatment more than any other insured segment? The elderly, the disabled, the abused, those in poverty and CHILDREN? But then tell the world YOU ARE THE PARTY FOR THE LESS FORTUNATE??? Kiss my ass! And yes, this comes from the kid in the party who sees the MIXED MESSAGES creating division.
The there is the “Family Values” party who claim to have MORALS and are not like those damn bleeding hearts, right? The are doing exactly the same thing. Taking from the pool of recycled taxpayer money as those bleeding hearts, from the same Medicaid king, Centene. All of it fueling the battle we all must try to decipher before voting for our destiny.
They are all in need of their hearts to be healed.
The mixed messages are killing hearts everywhere.
Without heart what are we left with….?
Please wake up and see what is happening…please.
I have this dream. Call me a silly little girl, I really don’t care. My dream is that we take back our dignity in this country. We do it in a way to Heal Hearts of our neighbors and communities, while sending a message to our very confused leadership in this country , that WE know what is important to our future as a country, as humans, and to our world. Healing Hearts is critical. Our brains are tired, our hearts are shattering, our dignity is gone and all from mixed messages of corruption and greed.
That is my message, what is hurting my heart this morning…please wake up.
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