A Pay it Forward Christmas...
The Christmas Clues came all month long.....a month filled with constant motion ..chaos...stress...and deep inside me the usual holiday dread. Those clues helped to divert my attention away from the emptiness that has been in me for the last few years....
Those memories of a large family coming together where I was the hostess for all the holiday feasts....the memories that usually remind me of the last few years and how much the boys and I have lost when domestic violence entered our home...and what destruction it left in it's wake.
Yes, the clues had me looking forward to time that in the last three years or so I would wish I could close my eyes around mid-November and wake up on Jan 1st - yes, me...the one time overly merry hostess had turned bitter towards the holidays.
This is the first year in a very long time that I have actually looked forward to Christmas....
That Secret Santa...and those elves....must have known that I was dreading another Christmas...another holiday in this house that has trapped in it's wall the memories I so badly want to forget...the ones still in which there are times I wish I could just get in that piece of crap car of mine and drive as far away as possible......and never turn back.
No matter how far I've come down this road to healing....I can't seem to rid myself of that ache....
Santa...and those elves had been paying attention.......
So the children and I followed their clues........
They lead us to a Christmas Eve away from home....
To a suite in a Best Western here in town.....
Where we could swim and relax in a hot tub........
We had no idea what was in store for us....
Only that a pizza would be arriving at 5:00 p.m. and that on Christmas when we left we could dine first at the restaurant before returning home.
When pulled into the parking lot we were the only car....
Hmmmmmmm....was all I could think.
I told the woman at the registration desk that I thought there were reservations in my name...
She then handed me our room keys, told us where to go, and said "Merry Christmas"
I kept thinking to myself somewhere....at any point.....someone was going to jump out from around a corner and tell me that we were on Candid Camera....
The kids' were nervous....
So much so that Kyle asked me what happens if this is all a joke...
When we got to the door of the room, Kyle peeked through the peep hole...
"There's something in there!"
Now I was nervous!
I cautiously inserted the room key, and carefully opened the door.......
The glow of holiday lights illuminated the room...
Off to the side of the suite was a table where a Christmas tree stood....
and beneath it was piles of presents....
Kyle and Justin both went running over to the tree..
"Can we open them?"
"C'mon Mom, can we?"
I broke with our usual tradition of waiting until Christmas morning...
"Yes, you can open them!"
Within 5 minutes clothing, books, movies, games, footballs and more were strewn across the floor............
Then I noticed something on top of the tree...where usually a star is hung was a brochure...inside were 5 passes to a water park in the Wisconsin Dells to be used at a later time.
"This is cool!" - One of my boys said...
"Can we go swimming now" - was the next question I heard...
"Yes, we can go swimming now" ...and with that we headed off to the pool.
As the boys were changing into their suits, I noticed that on the bed stand was one of those cards that usually held a Christmas Clue letter...
Who is Christmas Clue?
You will never know.
Take All With You When You Go..
Merry Christmas!
While I have my suspicions...I will leave them at that..... ;-)
The kids and I then went off to the pool - once there I couldn't be moved from the hot tub....
That's when I noticed something........
I was exhausted............but also relaxed.
After a couple of hours of swimming we returned to our room for that pizza we knew was coming....I mean Holly Jingles made sure to tell us that!
And yes, sure enough at 5:00 p.m. the pizza and Mountain Dew arrived....by 5:10 the boys had consumed it all -
I had turned on HBO - it's been so long since we've watched a premium cable channel that for me being able to was a treat.....
And what movie was on?
Yes, EVERYTHING DOES HAPPEN FOR A REASON!
After the movie...and a few tears...we returned to the pool...actually the hot tub.
I found myself yawning...
exhaustion had taken over....
I left the boys and I returned to the room...
After all Justin probably didn't want me around, some teen girl around his age had come in - and I noticed him stand up straight while trying to remain aloof.....it always cracks me up.
Not wanting to "cramp" his "style" - I went back to the room and relaxed..watched some t.v....played on the net...and relaxed.
The children did return....arguing as they entered the room (somethings will never change)
And then something else happened....
I fell asleep....
I never fall asleep like that...
I usually toss and turn, and never close my eyes before midnight...1a.m. 2a.m. but last night I was asleep before 11:00 p.m.
That in itself is a miracle!
But there was something else.......
I broke a promise to my friends....
I brought with me the cell phone for Lend a Hand - I was worried that someone would need help on Christmas and no one would be there.....that maybe a child would need a roof on Christmas Eve...
That phone which has rang off the hook since we got it just a couple of weeks ago...
Hasn't rang once since Wednesday at 4:00 p.m. -
Thank you Santa....and those elves!
You did give me the best present of all........a new and positive Christmas memory......
It's been such a very long time since I've had one of those!
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