My personal inventory of trauma in life is long.
I was sexually assaulted by 5 different males before the age of 14 -
I grew up in an alcoholic and co-dependent household
I spent my teens years hating my existence, and attempted suicide
I witnessed my father, a man I loved and dearly respected, have a violent nervous breakdown
I longed for nurturing from a mother who, herself, was wounded from life's path
I was hospitalized 25 plus times in my childhood for a mysterious illness that resulted in a very enlarged spleen and multiple infections -
I fell in love with and married an alcoholic and willingly placed myself into the path of emotional and physical pain
Not every day of my past was spent in pain, there were many good times as well. However, trauma, especially childhood trauma, leaves deep wounds and had it not been for the Seeds of Hope planted along the way I would not be the survivor I am today.
Those seeds were planted by various people throughout my life- friends, loved ones and even strangers. At the time I didn't realize them for what they were, but when it came time for me to spread my wings and fly, those seeds nurtured my weary soul enough to take the leap and try.
I grew up in an alcoholic and co-dependent household
I spent my teens years hating my existence, and attempted suicide
I witnessed my father, a man I loved and dearly respected, have a violent nervous breakdown
I longed for nurturing from a mother who, herself, was wounded from life's path
I was hospitalized 25 plus times in my childhood for a mysterious illness that resulted in a very enlarged spleen and multiple infections -
I fell in love with and married an alcoholic and willingly placed myself into the path of emotional and physical pain
Not every day of my past was spent in pain, there were many good times as well. However, trauma, especially childhood trauma, leaves deep wounds and had it not been for the Seeds of Hope planted along the way I would not be the survivor I am today.
Those seeds were planted by various people throughout my life- friends, loved ones and even strangers. At the time I didn't realize them for what they were, but when it came time for me to spread my wings and fly, those seeds nurtured my weary soul enough to take the leap and try.
Seeds of Hope..
They came from the teachers who told me I was smart.
The friends who expressed they loved my compassionate and tender heart
From all the people who told me I had kind and pretty eyes
And from the examples of others who in life never gave up, they always tried
They were planted by all who loved me when I didn't know how to love myself
Those seeds took up residence, within my soul, on top of a high shelf
Grieving a childhood lost and a heart broken many times, through and through
It was when I could reach up and from the tears falling those seeds grew.
The more I freely cried while letting go of aches from a traumatic past
Those Seeds of Hope gained a special strength, and finally free I was at last.
In others all of us can plant seeds of hope.
Be well and fly free...........
JOIN OTHER SURVIVORS,,,
If you are a survivor working towards bettering your community while using your life experience and/or working towards change in laws - please contact #WhenIBecameFree - The Heartland Project at chewedpupspatout@gmail.com and visit the website at #WhenIBecameFree-The Heartland Project
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