A Good Hurt?

It feels like my left shoulder has been ripped from the socket, and I am enjoying it???!?!? Not sure if I am asking or telling you about it all. This morning I am realizing that yes, I am 41 and so are my muscles but at the same time so is my freewill.

The last few days has been spent being in constant motion. It started with spending time with out of state friends who were vacationing here in the Dells and staying at a resort with an indoor waterpark. The kids played and swam with their two little ones as we adults caught up on years of stories. It was a nice visit that lasted two days, and I walked away from it with a couple of thoughts; damn I miss the old days! And ...my boys are wonderful...although my friends children were little ones (7 and 4) my two sons (15 and 10) enjoyed every minute with them....played with them..and genuinely enjoyed their company. My youngest now tells me he wants a baby sister.....DREAM ON BUDDY!!!

From that active adventure to a weekend of painting inside my home. It's an overdue facelift. I haven't done anything to the home since before my mother died, and my ex assaulted me. Now I am thinking I should have done this sooner.

For so long I've hated coming home, because every time I did, walking in brought back all those tragic memories. Almost like the negative energy had been stored within the walls. It would zap the positive energy right out of me just entering my front door.

I woke up Saturday morning with the overwhelming urge to paint. Did I mention I hate painting...well kind of...I hate the thought of painting, but once I get started I do pretty good. Anyway, off I went to the store....not really knowing what color I wanted nor which room I was going to tackle first...kitchen or living room...

My youngest was with me as we studied all the different colors and paints. We settled on something called "sea glass" for the living room. A soft blue/green color which was like day to the coffee colored walls that made the room feel like a cave.

Within 4 hours of being home, we were done painting.It was amazing!!! The mood of the room had brightened and that negative energy had been erased. The change hit me so hard and to the core, that now I am on a mission....to change every room in the house! Even those plastic coated paneled bathrooms from 1973 that I've always hated.

My ex had always told me we needed to rip those walls out if we were going to change anything in them. I decided this weekend I am going to give them a coat of paint, like I've always wanted to do, and just see what happens. He had always told me that my idea of painting them was "stupid"..."crazy"...

I cannot tell you how good it felt just to have the idea and move forward with it without hearing in the background how I was being "stupid" ...or "crazy" - the little bit of freedom took hold of me like a drug, and now I know I will continue on with everything I've always wanted to do but was fearful that I would screw it up and hear how stupid I was for even trying.

Yup, I am sore...and this 41 year old body is feeling the pain of using muscles that have been dormant for a long time...but DAMN, IT FEELS GOOD!


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