Surreal does not cover this week........

It was just one week ago tonight that I learned my cousin Marty passed away....

Since then to say my week has been surreal would be an understatement.

Of course there's been the grieving when a family member passes away, but with a chaotic week I am not sure it has all hit home yet....

Things at the paper have been a little crazy - and this week was a week that highlighted it all -

Chaos of deadline and trying to get the needed funds so I could get to Chicago to the wake made for the Tuesday from hell. The evening before I was at our local high school to cover an event that would also serve to help promote Lend a Hand - it was sponsored by Right Choice..a youth sports program here in town - Right Choice brought in former NFL and Wisconsin Badger, Cecil Martin, to give a motivational talk - the only requirement for the youth to attend was that they bring an item of "need" for the clients that Lend a Hand will work with -

After the talk, Cecil took the time not only for an interview for the paper, but also to help me with a little promotional project I was working on for Lend a Hand. A spur of the moment idea I had ....he allowed me to video tape him saying "Lend a Hand, Juneau County!"

So an exciting evening just 24 hours after learning my cousin passed away....

Then came the chaos of that dreaded deadline day along with trying to figure out ways to get to Chicago....not an easy task when my car quite frankly is a piece of crap that I don't trust driving around town let alone over 200 miles...and then of course my bank balance was at 32 dollars and just enough food to get us through the week as that morning I made a trip to the food pantry.

A lot to absorb, yes, I know - I still shake my head in disbelief about it all - How did I get here?

And that's when I remember I got here much like the people Lend a Hand helps - life happens.

And when it happens in an area where resources are scarce...opportunities are hidden under a mountain of struggles...it makes complete sense...

Those thoughts are what drive me to put my all into Lend a Hand..

I remember just how isolated I felt when life took that turn after 15 years of marriage and I was now living that nightmare of domestic violence ..which then led to becoming a single mom raising two sons on little to nothing and feeling like there was no where to turn...no where to go...that hope was a lie other's tell you to hang on to because they just don't know what else to say.

No one should ever have to feel that way.........forgotten.

No child should ever have to watch their parent hide tears they know they are internally crying as they try to hang on to that roof...and make food stretch until "something" happens.

It's the most horrible feeling there is....that feeling like if you disappear off the face of the Earth no one would notice....that feeling like you've been forgotten while you're struggling to hang on to life.

So yes, remembering how that feels...or while some days I still feel the weight of it all....it drives me forward. ..

And, something I have learned these last three or so years is that when you think you cannot take it anymore....it's all just too overwhelming....that if you just find one thing to dive into, to give your all...miracles can and do happen.

So as I was absorbing the death of my cousin, and as I was juggling all the things a divorced mom raising two kids alone does, and as I stomached the fact I made just 14,000 dollars last year with 6,700 of it or so being from unemployment and only 3400 from the paper - and the rest from another job I had.....I got overwhelmed.

My break and time to reflect came on that long drive to Chicago to be at my cousin's wake....a friend helped me with gas and incidental money until my tax refund comes in, and another friend, Rick, took an entire day to go with me.....drive me... and be the emotional support the kids and I needed....

Surreal...but that drive came at a time when I needed it most...

I needed to not do anything....but sit....think...and be with a friend who I know is not judging me nor my life.

We left for Chicago at 10 in the morning, and pulled back into my driveway at around 11pm that evening - 8 hours total in driving, the remainder at the wake or stopping to fill Justin's 16 year old, and always "starving" stomach.

The next day I awoke to 132 emails....some from work, and some personal, and then some on Lend a Hand ..

As I muddled through the emails and situations that needed immediate attention, I was still absorbing the drive and wake from the previous day...wondering why...how...when...will all of this come to the "Everything Happens for a Reason" that I try to hold on to.

Then I remembered that email I had on deadline day...one that made me cry..

A teacher from the middle school emailed me to let me know that an 8th grade leadership club raised over 250 dollars for Lend a Hand - I started feeling the "hope" again...I mean after all these were kids that are growing up in this county where high unemployment and poverty is rampant...where the resources are scarce and most likely while watching their parents hide those tears as they try to provide....those kids "get it" and they are next generation...

It's working....things were starting to make sense to me again...

All the whys....all the hows....and that Everything Does Happen for a Reason....

A busy start of the week gave way to even a busier end of the week....

Stories to cover for the paper...

A renewed sense of hope.....

And closure on one client we had helped...that elderly lady who was evicted....

Yesterday I along with three other volunteers packed up her apartment that held her life...It was not an easy job and to put it nicely...it was disorganized to say the least...

But something dawned on me as we were working, and as I packed away her clippings, her pictures and other items....we were doing something very important to her, and I don't mean the work...I mean the gesture that she was not forgotten...we were lending that hand that means so much to someone like her....someone like me.

Yes, a surreal week indeed.

And it wasn't over yet........

I've written before about JP Olson...a friend who lives in Hustler, Wisconsin here in Juneau County. It's too long of a story to explain how JP, a recording artist who was married to one of the Platters got here in dairyland USA...but she is, and tonight she is at a Grammy party....she is also on the Lend a Hand committee - (I told you, it's SURREAL!) ...

Anyway when she left I asked her to try to get some stars to say "Lend a Hand Juneau County" for that project I was working on.....

So, as I sit here tonight...looking on Craigslist for a cheap and used washing machine because I cannot take another year of going without one...(laundry mats will break a person...plus time to get to one is near to impossible for me)....The Lend a Hand phone rings....It's JP...she tells me she has Jewel there with her and they are trying to record her on her Blackberry saying "Lend a Hand Juneau County" ...the next thing I know she tells me that Jewel wants to say "hi"....

HUH?????????

The next thing I know Jewel is on the phone saying "Hi Eva" and then went on to say how JP has told her about me, and about Lend A Hand and how remarkable she thought it all was......

Now try to picture me sitting here in the house that is falling apart...looking at my computer screen at the ads for a used washing machine...and now trying to absorb JP being where she was and I was now speaking to Jewel -

Yeah...who'd believe this one? Surreal, I tell ya...SURREAL!

And yes, I am still absorbing it all....but something tells me I was right in my last post when I said that now Marty is up there with Daddy and our grandparents rooting on the next Woywod who refuses to quit!

It's the only way I can explain this week.....

Here is the first of what I hope to be more of promo videos for Lend a Hand (Let's see what JP brings home, LOL)

One day in Juneau County there will be a woman who was like me when all that horror entered her life...but this time she WILL have a place to go...a shelter close to home...I feel it!!!