Firsts in honor of the New Year in the Driver's Seat


Ok, maybe it's the cabin fever that's getting to me...

Maybe it's the quirky people in my life...(you know who you are)

Who knows...

But this morning I decided to conquer a fear...and thank you to Meggs at Speaking Out; I tell my truth as I owe her appreciation for the kick in the ass reading/watching her blog gave me this morning.

She placed on her blog a VLog - a video post of her...a first for her as well. She did so to put a "real person" to all the emotional ups and downs she has written about.

Like her I've been thinking about doing the same....I mean C'mon, some of the stuff I write about is so surreal that at times I cannot even believe it happened.....(you should know the stuff I don't write about...yeeeesh!)

So...after watching hers....after leaving a comment on her post....it stuck with me all day..Why the hell not do it?!?! Is the world going to stop spinning if I do? NOT!

ahhhh...but ...that fear of mine starting surging up every time I thought about it....A CAMERA!! EGADS!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!! (it is a serious fear of mine...a trigger of sorts - I've gotten better over the years on hiding the fear and what is happening inside me when I am forced to take a picture....but still...it sucks)

I am so sick and tired of that fear...over 3 decades it's been in me, and TO HELL WITH IT!

So there I sat today...on my bed - the usual spot for me when I sit and write - playing with that webcam on my laptop....

To give you an idea just how fearful I am of cameras -when I first got this laptop I use to place a piece of paper over the eye of the cam that is installed because I didn't trust that the little light saying it was on would always work...and you know...better safe than sorry!

Anyway...back to playing with the cam today - I decided to do that first VLog and start to conquer that fear.

First thing I realized is the lighting in my bedroom really sucks...either too dark or wayyyy to bright.

But the more and more I practiced getting use to the cam being on, the fear was less in me...

So............

Here is that first Vlog - and be warned....it kinda sucks, but I DID IT! WHEW!!! AND I SURVIVED! (the world IS still spinning....isn't it?)


Comments

Meggs said…
I am so excited to see you! I just watched and I am so proud of you for conquering that fear!!! I would love for you to post it as a response to my video if you would like to and if not I completely understand. I just think it's so cool to see other people who are speaking about conquering trauma! You are amazing. =)
Selif said…
I just ran across your video and had to check it out because of your rather colorful title. Good work conquering the fear and jumping in. It DOES get easier.

One issue I had with it was the sound. I heard more of a fan in the background than I did of you.

If you can use an external microphone (like maybe one of those that clip to your shirt or something) you'll almost certainly get better sound, if not then speaking louder will help (Pretend you're talking to somebody across a busy restaurant, louder but not to the point of shouting).

Keep at it and you'll get comfortable talking to that camera and that will help a lot too!

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