Whack It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


So my lawn mower is fried! This has been confirmed, and I have come to terms with it's passing....but that doesn't stop the grass from growing now does it?

The weather, along with my schedule has created a mess....a tangled web of overly grown grass and weeds in my backyard.

The front yard we've been able to keep somewhat under control with one of those old manual push mower things....you know the type - dull blades, rusty...and just a major PAIN!

Hard to believe that I once, as a kid, went around my neighborhood cutting lawns for money with one of those things.....

Anyway...that marsh of a backyard!

UGH!

Yesterday I was out there with my darling "what's there to eat?" teenager, Justin.

And BTW..I swear he should become a magician - that kid does some of the best disappearing acts I've ever seen!

The push mower torture device wouldn't budge - grass was too long, and I am old! (well I felt old yesterday!)

Every time Justin went to use it, within minutes he would be doing one of those disappearing acts.

I thought about using one of the weed whacker things in my garage...I do have three of them (where they came from, I have no idea, but they are there)

I go look at them and notice that 2 of them are missing parts. I don't know why I didn't expect that -the garage is after all Kyle's toy box - just try finding a tool...a screwdriver, hammer...last time I managed to find them they were in Kyle's bottom dresser drawer, and his clothes were shoved under the bed.

The one weed whacker thing did still have most of it's parts, but when I plugged the thing in it didn't work.

DESPERATION set in - and the next thing I knew I was sitting in the middle of my backyard yanking up and clipping grass with a bush trimmer in hopes that the torture device would agree to at least give it a try if I could get the blades short enough.

Mosquitoes, bees, and hidden land mines my dog Cody (more like cow patties considering Cody is a 130lb dog!) had buried beneath the greenery soon gave way to swearing (in German) and a temper tantrum which hopefully none of my neighbors had the pleasure of witnessing and chuckling about as they called each other to gossip about me yet once again!

I called everyone I could think of pleading for a lawn mower...and they must have known the call was coming as all I seemed to get were answering machines!

WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went into the house and checked Craigslist...Damn it!!!! Yes, damn it! It was worth risking my life if needed, besides would a serial killer be using a used lawn mower as his bait?

I didn't find much of anything, except one ad with a specific time to call...and of course that would be when i was scheduled to be in a meeting - Scheisse!!!!!!!!!

And then the phone rings....it's a child - a child wanting me to release my child so they can go play. And that's when it hit me!!!

"Nope, he can't come out BUT if you come over and bring a weed whacker, I'll let you play in our backyard!"

(I knew there was no lawn mower on Earth that would make it through the jungle in my back yard...but a weed whacker might!)

Kyle then took the phone from me and went into the other room...I could hear the whispering...and then Kyle asked;

"He wants to know if there would be food, and lemonade."

I told him that if he follows through there would be a hot dog and some kool-aid.

Kyle went back to whispering and then I heard him say good-bye. Kyle then came into the room where I was and informed me that his friend had said, "SWEET!!! Hot Dogs! I'll be there in a few!"

So.....................

My yard may look like crap, but at least it's not knee high crap!

Whew! Another day, and I made it through with my sanity in tact!










Comments

Gin said…
I think I would have collapsed into a mountain of tears in the middle of my lawn. Glad you got through this one! I found your blog through...actually now I can't remember who, but I have been enjoying it.
Eva Marie said…
Oh...gee...well, I did come close to collapsing - maybe it's selfish, but I am praying for a drought this year...at least one over my where my house is!
Lover of Life said…
LOL! You are amazing - I would have given up and called someone. I love your rendition of what was hiding in the grass. Glad you figured it out -

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