The Bond in Being a Survivor; it can be a gift.

Anyone who has survived being molested as a child, I am sure will say, there's a instant connection of unspoken words, when we learn of or hear that someone else shares similar memories. Stories like Nevaeh Buchanan cannot help but to bring back those emotions in us.

Remembering being that confused, scared child ...having innocence ripped from you...stolen.

While it hasn't been confirmed that she was molested on top of being murdered, one can surmise she was. Why else end the life of a child unless the killer was attempting to silence her, and cover his crime of shame??

I felt that bond and the passion behind it this past week in blogs and comments on new stories through out the net. Many of us communicated the updates we were not finding on cable news or our local channels.

Passionate pleas of why....angry questions wanting answers.....tears shed in words of hope..could be found doing a Google search on this little girl's name.

I know for me, and the only person I can really speak for, that I was immediately drawn back to memories...memories that reminded me not only that I was a survivor...but that little girl's last moments at the young age of 5, could have been mine...for some reason ....unknown reason...I survived.

I survived to become part of a community of survivors...we are the voices for those who've lost theirs or haven't yet found it. We are the firsthand experiences - the reminders that this horror of child abuse and child sexual assault touches so many lives in so many ways.

Perhaps this is me justifying my past...the answers to the angry questions of why...but in my heart I know there's a reason I sit here and pour out past pains, recent accomplishments and dreams of the future ..all to a world of strangers...and to those I have the bond of survivorship with...there has to be a reason....I just wish ...hope...that one day the reason will be to save a life of a child and not relay the story and my emotions of when one has been taken early from this world.

Many of us, strangers to little Nevaeh, are grieving her loss...her final moments..and praying that this will be the last time we need to do so....that miraculously our world would be healed of the demons that do this to the innocent.

Until then...I guess what we do is continue on down that path of awareness....and maybe in the process letting those who haven't found their voice to find it.

Love your children....they are a gift..a privilege of life...not a right.

Don't turn your back on your neighbor's child....

Demand accountability from those who harm the innocent...

Don't assume to know the character of a person by seeing a glimpse into their past....or even their present.

We have insurance to repair our cars when they are dented in an accident...a child..a victim of domestic violence doesn't have insurance to repair the dent left in their soul when they are harmed...they need the love, care, and concern of help to heal.

And most importantly, to my fellow survivors, don't continue to carry the shame of another's crime - let go of it and find your voice.

Others are doing their stories..and know you are not alone.......feel that bond here on the following sites... Let Go, Let Peace Come In for survivors of child abuse, and/or child sexual assault and Violence UnSilenced for survivors of domestic violence and/or sexual assault. Click the images to be taken to their sites....

Violence Unsilenced: You are not alone, and you don't have to live this way.


maggie, dammit said…
Thank you so much for the support, Eva. This is a beautiful post.
Eva, thanks for sharing your article. I wish it were as easy as buying dent insurance to fix my past.
This is so poignant and uplifting.
You have a strong voice, thank you for sharing it.

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