A pain in the neck - A mother's instinct?
What a long and draining week it has been. I spent most of this week in a conference on sexual assault which was put on by the Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Violence.
The conference was packed and well attended by law enforcement, advocates, health care providers, and other interested parties. So much information..and..somewhat disturbing for me at times...and on many levels.
Anyway, the conference just so happened to by only about 20 or so miles from my home, so I had the luxury of being able to leave at the end of each day and return to home to my children and my own pillow.
Yesterday I was sitting in the last breakout session of the day. One I was very interested in ..prosecution of offenders and how to bring those cases to justice.
Tired I was, yes....sitting all day my back was aching, my neck throbbing but I was determined to stick it out.
I was sitting there listening to the speakers when all of a sudden the pain in my neck became so severe it almost brought tears to my eyes....I then had the sudden urge to "LEAVE...GO HOME...NOW!!!"
No one wants to be that person that gets up in the middle of a breakout session and walk out of the room while speakers are talking....you know?? All eyes on you...plus it's rude!
I tried to ignore the pain but the voice in my head continued..."GO HOME NOW!!"
Before I knew it I was up and out of my chair and making my way out of the conference center and to my car.
I found myself speeding home faster than usual...again, the thought in my head was "GET HOME...NOW!!!"
At one point I wondered to myself if I should stop at the store and pick up something quick to make for dinner because I was too tired to make a big meal, but that voice in my head telling me to "GET HOME" won out.
The closer I got to home, the faster I found myself speeding...and that pain in my neck was getting worse.
I pulled into my driveway and there at the end of my drive....between the junker car I have parked there (waiting to scrap it when things get REALLY bad) and the overly grown hedges that line the drive.. was a red glow...flames....in a spot no wider than 18 inches.
Imagine my shock.
"WHAT THE &$(@?"
I said as I bolted out my car....
I saw them............
Two young boys, one being my dear sweet innocent (HA!) Kyle - the other being his friend I often refer to as Stalker Boy (long story there)...quickly trying to put out the flames with the "deer in the headlights" look on their faces.
"It's ok, Mom."
"Don't worry Mom."
"This is our new club house Mom."
Kyle was telling me as I made sure all the embers were out....
Stalker Boy was making his way slowly off my property and while not making a sound.
My mouth was in fact now going a mile of minute...what exactly I said, I am not sure of.
But I know it ended with, "Get your butt in that house. You're not going to see the light of day for a very long time. YOU'RE GROUNDED!"
We made our way into the house to find my oldest child (15 years old), Justin, in the kitchen quickly cleaning up the mess that was suppose to be cleaned hours ago.
Of course Justin claimed that he was keeping a close eye on his brother and friend.
Again...my mouth was going a mile a minute...the "Mom lecture" was in full swing -
"Is that how you want to die? In a fire? Do you have any idea what could have happened? A fire next to a car? next to bushes? Do I need to take you down to the fire chief's house (he lives down the street) so he can explain to you just exactly what a fire like that would have done?? How painful of a death it would have been???"
I am sure I said more.....
Kyle stood there tearful...
He apologized over and over, as did Justin for not knowing and keeping an eye on things.
So needless to say Kyle is grounded ...and my heart still beats fast thinking about this experience.
My boys are 15 and 11. Justin will be 16 in August. I can't afford a babysitter...can't afford camp...don't have anyone to watch them while I work - and now I am worried about the long summer ahead of us.
I am grateful for that pain in my neck yesterday, as I am sure that was my mother's instinct at work - had I stayed until the end of that session, another 20 minutes, who knows if I would have a child alive to lecture.
My friend called just as I was at the tail end of my "Mom lecture" and she heard the news as it was happening. We discussed my predicament of what to do with the boys......
Keep your fingers crossed for us, her neighbor has a cattle farm and he often has kids help out over the summer.....my friend was going to check in with him to see if the boys could help him...
And you should have seen their faces when I told them where they may be spending their days this summer...
ahhh...it was priceless.......
Surviving all that I have...all the abuse...is nothing compared to surviving these trying pre-teen and teen years of my two darling sons.
Writing this I still shiver at the thought of what could have happened..and I am so thankful for that pain in my neck....both of them.