Skip to main content

Feeling Sorry for Yourself


Why is it perfectly acceptable to feel for someone else...feel their pain, cry tears for them, understand why they may be sad...scared...closed up...etc, but not acceptable to feel sorry for your own pain, cry tears for your own losses, shattered dreams...feel compassion for yourself?

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself!"

I never understood that saying, and I believe I never will.

Whenever I hear it, I picture in my mind's eye a parent who has just beat their child...or a husband who has just slapped his wife and those words are coming out of their mouth while their victim cowers and cries. Words from a guilty party that doesn't know how to deal with their own pain ...so...they need to lash out at others...words that demean another, and do not respect the experience of another...their existence, their pain...their loss. Yes, to me, to tell another person not to feel sorry for themselves, is telling them to ignore their own emotions because you yourself don't know how to honor yours.

Maybe I am off base with this....but......

FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF..if that is what you need to do. Cry those tears...respect yourself when others haven't.....learn from your own emotions what you never want to happen again....learn who you are...grow...and then more forward.

Don't ignore yourself....don't stuff those emotions...and please don't let ANYONE else EVER tell you how to FEEL!

ok...that's my vent for the day.......................
Labels:

Comments

JoyceH2881 said…
very empowering, touching and well put.your right you have to be your own advocate first. i'm sure your words reach out to many and make difference in their lives.
June 17, 2009 at 5:18 PM
Marj aka Thriver said…
I came over from Blog Catalog. Sorry it took me a while to respond...I've been having computer problems.

I know it's last minute but I think you'd have some great posts to submit to The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. We have a deadline at midnight tonight for our June edition Friday. Details are at my blog.
June 17, 2009 at 5:36 PM
Eva Marie said…
Thank you both for the kind words..

Every so often I will hear a comment or saying that brings back some emotion..or memory, and I just have to say WTF and vent it out.

Today was one of those days...
June 17, 2009 at 10:41 PM
Wine and Words said…
I needed that. It is stupid to need confirmation to FEEL, but I needed it and you gave it and I don't feel as guilty about my post today as I did a moment ago. Do you ever feel like everyone is abused? I wish I could cut it out of me so I could be unabused and therefore abnormal.
June 18, 2009 at 1:12 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

History Shrouded in Mold - Part 1

  Sipping my morning coffee I sit on my bed looking out almost century old windows and into the backyards of my neighbors. This morning was no different. The sky is grey and there is a slight chill in the air, reminding me that outside that glass is another world filled with life and adventure, stories to tell and lessons to be learned...knowledge to be gained. In other words, hope.  That sentiment brings back the emotions I felt as a little girl. Then, I sat on my bed looking out the massive Victorian era windows of the 3rd floor apartment we called home. It was in the mid 70s -Evanston, Illinois. I loved being able to see into the green of the trees that lined our street. Between the leaves and branches was another world playing out before my eyes. The birds, the squirrels and sometimes even a stray cat - they lived out a day in their life without ever knowing they had an audience taking in their story.  I would spend a lot of time watching them and getting to know their personalit
Post a Comment
Read more

A Pay it Forward Christmas...

The Christmas Clues came all month long.....a month filled with constant motion ..chaos...stress...and deep inside me the usual holiday dread. Those clues helped to divert my attention away from the emptiness that has been in me for the last few years.... Those memories of a large family coming together where I was the hostess for all the holiday feasts....the memories that usually remind me of the last few years and how much the boys and I have lost when domestic violence entered our home...and what destruction it left in it's wake. Yes, the clues had me looking forward to time that in the last three years or so I would wish I could close my eyes around mid-November and wake up on Jan 1st - yes, me...the one time overly merry hostess had turned bitter towards the holidays. This is the first year in a very long time that I have actually looked forward to Christmas.... That Secret Santa...and those elves....must have known that I was dreading another Christmas...another holiday in
1 comment
Read more

Daniel A. Woolverton - A Rapist you will and SHOULD not forget

Daniel A. Woolverton The picture above is of a West Point graduate (Class of 1997) who went on to have a military career that most men at one time were little boys dreaming about as they played with their G.I. Joe's and Army Men. A sweet face, I am sure as a mother, his own mother worried about his safety every waking moment while he was enlisted.   This is him - that same once good looking - waiting to to take on the world, young man. Life has taken a toll, that is obvious - at first glance you might think that the horrors his eyes seen as a former JAG officer eventually led him down the path of self medication and drug abuse. His soul appears to be lost behind those eyes - Truth is, after reading and taking what I have learned since receiving an email today to his story- He never had a soul - at least one with a conscience to begin with.  The headline in the email asking to me to consider telling this story on this blog read: NEWS:  Disbarred US Arm
2 comments
Read more