Feeling Sorry for Yourself

Why is it perfectly acceptable to feel for someone else...feel their pain, cry tears for them, understand why they may be sad...scared...closed up...etc, but not acceptable to feel sorry for your own pain, cry tears for your own losses, shattered dreams...feel compassion for yourself?

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself!"

I never understood that saying, and I believe I never will.

Whenever I hear it, I picture in my mind's eye a parent who has just beat their child...or a husband who has just slapped his wife and those words are coming out of their mouth while their victim cowers and cries. Words from a guilty party that doesn't know how to deal with their own pain ...so...they need to lash out at others...words that demean another, and do not respect the experience of another...their existence, their pain...their loss. Yes, to me, to tell another person not to feel sorry for themselves, is telling them to ignore their own emotions because you yourself don't know how to honor yours.

Maybe I am off base with this....but......

FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF..if that is what you need to do. Cry those tears...respect yourself when others haven't.....learn from your own emotions what you never want to happen again....learn who you are...grow...and then more forward.

Don't ignore yourself....don't stuff those emotions...and please don't let ANYONE else EVER tell you how to FEEL!

ok...that's my vent for the day.......................


JoyceH2881 said…
very empowering, touching and well put.your right you have to be your own advocate first. i'm sure your words reach out to many and make difference in their lives.
I came over from Blog Catalog. Sorry it took me a while to respond...I've been having computer problems.

I know it's last minute but I think you'd have some great posts to submit to The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. We have a deadline at midnight tonight for our June edition Friday. Details are at my blog.
Eva Marie said…
Thank you both for the kind words..

Every so often I will hear a comment or saying that brings back some emotion..or memory, and I just have to say WTF and vent it out.

Today was one of those days...
Wine and Words said…
I needed that. It is stupid to need confirmation to FEEL, but I needed it and you gave it and I don't feel as guilty about my post today as I did a moment ago. Do you ever feel like everyone is abused? I wish I could cut it out of me so I could be unabused and therefore abnormal.

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