Reflections

I started off last year much like I have this year...writing part time for the Messenger and on partial unemployment. While my pocketbook may have not expanded, my life experiences have.

Midway into Jan. of last year I started a new job working as a Domestic Violence advocate - a job I so wanted and greatly needed. The pay was good and it was doing something I loved....my passion in life. It also happened to be working for a Native American community that I have a lot of respect for...one in which I have volunteered many hours in the past as a special education advocate for families with children who had special needs.

I couldn't wait to begin - it was to be my time to soar...

Everything was going fine...my finances were improving - the children were happy...and so was I....until..

THE DRAMA!

A drama I got pulled into without ever realizing what was about to happen..but also I do not regret one step I made.

Long story short...I became intimately aware of a situation which involved a pedophile up on currents charges for sexual assault of a minor...he was awaiting sentencing, as he had already plead guilty....and whom was living with his girlfriend whom he was beating and who had a child

The kicker to it was when he moved in with this woman...he moved right next door to the child he was awaiting sentencing on molesting...........

Nasty, huh?

I thought so.

The thing is...his girlfriend was friends with a supervisor who didn't want to blow the lid off this guy.

Guess what...right is right and wrong is criminal in a situation like that....

So I helped another advocate do just that...we blew the lid off.

Children..their safety and welfare should always comes first...above all else. This guy needed to be off the streets...in jail awaiting sentencing...not living with a child and next to the kid he had already harmed....this wasn't a first time offender - he was already a registered sex offender for another crime against a child....a VERY young one.

I remember when all this was taking place, I sat my boys down and told them that I was about to do something that would cause some problems at work and may in fact lose me that job...that paycheck we were all getting use to.....I told them the situation - I explained to them how I couldn't turn a blind eye to something like that....and then we prepared.

So......in the end....after it was all reported...and after dealing with a lot of on the job harassment...I did get fired -

The reasoning?

"For putting things in writing and documenting"

Yup...really...

Remember that some Native American communities are their own sovereignty ...and just like with our government anything can happen depending on who is related to who, except the circle is much tighter in theirs.

I ended up winning unemployment because the reporter in me had all my facts to back up everything...but that took over a month, and the kids and I went without any income for that time as I was also laid off of the paper at the time. (Jan - May is a slow period for the paper)

A tough spring, indeed...

Back in that rut when unemployment was over 10 percent...not a pretty thing.

Then came that offer....from another advocacy organization that was going to open an office here in Juneau County...

YAY!

But wait....

That job that was to begin on August 1st didn't happen because there was a turf war among organizations and that ever so important state funding........

Oh well.....

Back at the paper writing and with partial unemployment, the kids and I were doing ok...and in the end that all that mattered...we had a roof and food in our bellies - we were surviving...

In the midst of all of this was planning for that Energy Fair...creating a website for domestic violence survivors here in Juneau County - Creating Better Tomorrows (somehow I was going to continue my personal goal of helping others) - and hoping...praying something would work out soon for the kids and I.

And then came the articles that lead to Lend a Hand forming...that group that would come together in a matter of weeks to be able to provide temporary shelter for those in need - another whirlwind of activity...but finally I felt like things were coming together and the much needed help would come to this county for people in need....there's nothing worse than losing everything...family...money...a roof...everything and feeling like no one cares. While I have always had a roof (except for the nights I fled from my ex and our home) I know the despair of feeling like not one living soul really gives a damn - now with Lend a Hand -there's some hope for those who need it...no matter their situation...a woman fleeing...a single man with no where to go or a family who lost everything....while we can't provide them everything we want to at least they will know someone cares.

And that's how my year ended...

Other things happened throughout this year....applying for college...getting in...getting approved for grants but then finding out I may lose unemployment or at least have payments suspended for a month or so while they made a decision - another month without income would have put me on the streets...so college went on the back burner.

Dealing with the remnants of PTSD and all the triggers in my home....

But most importantly were all the friends...new friends that have come into my life....

Old flames attempting to reignite to meeting and dating a new flame...(one day I will share those stories...just not ready to do so yet)

While it was one hell of a ride this past year.....I never felt alone on the drive...

I never felt alone as I also started this blog last year...

I was determined that no one else would tell my story - my life wouldn't end up being those whispers from strangers to one another that started happening after that final assault from my ex on Aug. 13 2007 -

I was taking back control of my life...my story...and in the driver's seat of my destiny....

Yes, one hell of a year....and while I am starting off this year off financially much like last year - the path I have walked has been filled with experiences...sometimes bittersweet....but always ones that ended up enriching my time on this Earth...

I wonder what this year will bring..........?

What will my reflections be on 01/01/11?

Where will I be? Who will be in my life? What will be the story that kicks off the new year?

No matter what...

I am....

Thankful for being chewed up and spat back out!

It means I survived and I am alive!

Happy New Year!