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A New Respect: Thank You Jersey Housewives (HUH?)


I couldn't believe my ears yesterday - I sat there on my couch, next to my 15 year old and I was speechless. This time it had nothing to do with some ignorant comment coming out of his mouth objectfying woman in a crude way...my inability to speak had nothing to do with watching his bottomless pit of a stomach eat me out of house and home- nope, it wasn't the typical comment from Justin's mouth that left me speechless last night which still leaves me at a loss for words on how to describe it all.


"Oh man! Man, I never realized it before Mom. I mean, Wow!!! Dude!!! Women work harder than men! Men are spoiled compared to women! I have a new respect for you Mom!"


HUH?????????????????????????????


What the hell just happened?


I was looking at him, and then at the t.v. to see what spawned this new realization, and try to piece it all together.




Last night we were watching Bravo's reality show; The Real Housewives of New Jersey. It was the end of the season recap where all the ladies sat with the host reflecting back during the period when they were being filmed. All the talk about boob jobs, botox, staying home with kids vs working, and of course the last show of the season where the was a knock down brawl of a cat fight among them and table were flipped, and the f word was the highlight in each and every sentence that came out of their mouths.


Yes, watching that is what spawned my son's new respect for the female gender...


It is a head scratcher, now isn't it?


One of the ladies (I don't watch enough to know their names) was talking about her children and how she still caters to them even though they are about to leave the nest. Another woman chimed in and spoke how she does the same because she wants her children to be treated the same way they should be when they are involved in a relationship. She went on to speak how she cooks for her husband, does his laundry, ties his tie....etc ...etc..meet all his needs, and also does the same for her son. Then she spoke how of course she does the same for her daughter, but makes sure her daughter knows how to do all the "womanly" things such as keeping a house clean and cooking.


Yes, that is when my son turned to me and said what he did.


I'm still digesting it all.


It's a fact I also treat my sons the same way. It was the way I was raised, the traditional male/female roles in the home. But on top of it all, I also do it because I want to - it's my way of showing care and love towards my children and when I was married, towards my husband.


But really.....is there a mixed message? The women discussing this live in beaufitul mansions, can afford those boob jobs, can spend thousands of dollars at a drop of a hat -


Really I am still trying to figure that all out.


Or is it because no matter what our situation...our circumstance is...we revert to our basic instincts of our gender?


I always considered myself an old fashioned Progressive...I believe in the traditional roles in the home as long as their is mutual respect for each partner (there's beauty and comfort in it when done right)...and then my political views fall left of center when it comes to other things such as health care, education, and social security.


Anyway, I cannot deny that my son had a lightbulb moment yesterday and realized just how much work a woman does to meet the needs of her family, and for that I am grateful...so..


Thank You Housewives of New Jersey.........huh?
About a minute into the clip is where the lightbulb turned on for my son.....






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Comments

Wine and Words said…
Interesting. I think my boys also see the discrepancy between what I do (work full time, keep up the house, the yard, the dog) and what Husband does (works sales...so part time, golfs, bbq's and occasionally does something in the yard.) I am glad they see my work ethic, but is it teaching them to expect the same in their relationships? I don't know.
June 29, 2009 at 10:05 AM
Gin said…
This is a tough one. I do 99.9% of the work around my house. My husband, if you've read my blog, has basically checked out of life so I do it all. However, I have my son and my daughter there helping me. I want them both equally to know how to cook, clean, do laundry, etc. I don't want my daughter to think that she is the only one that should be doing it in her home and I don't want my son to think that it is okay to sit back and watch his wife do it all. I don't want either of them to have to depend on someone else either.
June 29, 2009 at 12:19 PM
Deviki @ Viki said…
Hi just read ur entry .....I’m not a mother (yet still a teen) but I can relate to what you were saying. I mean in my house my mother does all the house work ….i help too but mostly I think my mom does most work all day. Back when I was in high school and my father was working …I used to see my mom work 24/7. I mean on Sundays my father relaxes but my mom does the same things she does everyday …wake up early cook breakfast, make lunch…wash cloths…and the list goes on…….i think it happens is all houses….women does most of the work but are sometimes are still under appreciated .....
July 3, 2009 at 12:30 AM
Unknown said…
I find it beyond ironic that it was RHNJ that led him to that conclusion...

I too fall into the old fashioned category - household type stuff is mine (not that I'm great at it), and outside/repairs/car stuff is hubby's. We've tried switching things up some, but it just doesn't work for us. Yes, I can change my own oil... but he can't cook dinner, so we'll stick with the whole Stepford style theme, thanks!!!
July 8, 2009 at 11:43 PM
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